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The Ego
2010 has been ... tumultuous. Sometimes I'm not sure whether in a good way or not-so-good! My annual recap:

January
I was in Dubai...flew back to UK on a stormy and rain-filled night. A night that lightning hit the Burj Khalifa. I was in Dubai for its opening...watched it with my best friend (who is incidentally my flatmate in the Big Smoke now). In the first week of this month, I officially ended a relationship that was a focal point for over 3 years. I got stranded in my flat because of snow back in the UK, gave important exams and made a new friend.

February
New projects in university were taking up my time. As well as reaching out to the people in my course. As one of them told me later, I wasn't very chatty in the first semester. I looked happier now, they said. My friendship with Po was...confusing.

March
My birthday month! During which I opened presents and accidentally got drunk at my birthday dinner with flatmates. I hadn't set out to drink AT ALL and by the end of the night through a series of (un)fortunate events I was sloshed, singing Atif Aslam and the UAE national anthem on the street. Found out something earth-shattering and heart-breaking. Went back to Dubai. Faced some problems. Officially started a relationship with Po.

April
Back to UK. University work heating up. Long-distance relationship to be handled. Somehow we'd talked about marriage and kids and...the fact that we already loved each other.

May
Massive uni project, which kept me up at nights...taught me a lot about teamwork and my capabilities. Dissertation plans afoot. Also marked the first bump in the road.

June
Dissertation. Dissertation. Dissertation.

July
Dissertation. Dissertation. Dissertation.

August
Dissertation handed in. Insane trip to Bombay and Dubai. Bombay trip necessary because of my grandmother who was hooked up to life support. I got there in time; I held her hand as she passed away. Dubai trip decided to become terrible with daily visits to a doctor because of a pre-existing medical condition. New camera courtesy Po and Jo. Seeing Po after months...wish we had more time.

September
Po leaves early from Dubai. I return to UK. Move into a new flat. Hate the new room. Eventually start loving the new room. Loved living with my best friend Jo and a friend from uni. Job hunting the order of the day.

October
An exhausting but amazing internship. Learning new things about London. Dealing with a 5.5 hour time difference with Po.

November
Quiet month. Happy days.

December
Stress over not having a job. Stress over visa applications. Stress over anything and everything! Another bump in the road. Snowfall. Moving into a new and bigger room because uni friend/flatmate moved to another country because of a job opportunity. Missing weddings but attended one via livestream online. Missing family in India.


I think 2010 had the most changes for me in various aspects of my life...perhaps the kind of which I'd last seen in 2004 or 2005. But the years after those massive changes got better and interesting, so I have great hopes for what's to come.

Happy New Year in advance to everyone...hope you'll have a fab 2011.
The Ego
Nine months have gone by and it's been interesting. Did I ever expect to be insanely in love like this? I'd say no. Certainly a little less than a year ago, I'd scoff if anyone said I'd be this involved and so head-over-heels in love with someone at the end of this year.

He understands me really well and more so than anyone does. It feels like a blessing...like I found my four-leaf clover... my missing puzzle piece... my better half.

Mushy, much?

Happy 9 months.
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The Ego
Like my previous post where I asked readers to pitch in their comments, here's another one of those (and to the reader who did comment on my last post but asked me not to publish it, thanks for the input...I think the same way and have voiced it as such to the friend already but she's not listening...is determined to give the fellow a millionth chance):

So there's this woman who is married, who has previously talked about how she's alone and bored and how she has no faith in marriage and blah blah blah. It is also hard to figure out she is married, considering she hardly ever mentions or alludes to her hubby being around. EVER. She also insists on telling some other guy (a friend of mine) how much she misses his wit and charm, and how she misses talking to him...not once but multiple times. I've told this guy that it's really weird because, for one, she's married. And as far as I know, they were never the best of friends anyway. Thirdly, no woman will tell a guy this multiple times unless she's just a massive flirt and/or interested (and she's married, FFS). In conclusion, I also said that if he's not interested in her (which he shouldn't be...she's married!), he needs to stop being super-friendly back because it will just encourage her, never mind his friendly personality.

Does anyone think I'm giving him wrong advice? What do you think?
The Ego
I have a question for anyone reading this blog...if you have an opinion on the following matter, I'd be glad to hear it. Yesterday I met with a dear friend for a few hours before she went on to her boyfriend's house for Christmas. So she keeps finding out new things about him and each time the new thing shocks her. Essentially, he used to be a fan of online chatrooms and online dating websites and things like that. Problem is, he is still close friends (or so he claims) with three girls found from these sites and corresponds with them. Again, the problem with this is, one girl emails him constantly to tell him that he's always on her mind (and he tells my friend that it is normal for British people to say this; but it's not, and she's not even British!); another sends him AND his father Christmas presents from a country far, far away (and he says even this is normal) and when he emailed her to tell her he hasn't sent a Christmas present this year to her, and that he has a girlfriend in UK, this other woman sends back a hysterical email about how he can't do this to her. But again, he says all of this is normal. I think he's an ass and she'd be well rid of him. What do you think?

* * * * *

I mourn deeply for a friend I've lost. Not to death, thankfully...but to something else: giddiness and absolute lunacy. Now I know people can change and I know that circumstances change people... but sometimes when the change is a complete 360 degrees and goes against the very fabric of one's upbringing...it puzzles me. I'm quite accepting of insane party folk; I can think of at least two friends at the drop of a hat who party like mad, get drunk even...some sleep around. I don't think that's the best way to live one's life, but knowing them for years...I know the kind of people they are. Nice people but perhaps in need of some stability and sensibility...I accept them for who they are and who they want to be. But when someone who has lived their life a particular way gets under the influence of deviant elements and decides to join the drunken club of Dubai with flesh on display like the high society tarts of the city...it bugs the shit out of me. This is not the person I knew. Or maybe it always was...and it just stayed hidden till now. Who knows...

* * * * *

I offered to buy someone something because I thought they would like it. Getting turned down hurt me more than I thought it would.

* * * * *

London shuts down during Christmas. No tubes, no buses, shops all closed...the city comes to a standstill while everyone spends time with family and friends. Sharp contrast to Dubai - it gets busier! With shops throwing special offers, restaurants with Christmas deals...you'd be hard pressed to find similar things over here. Merry Christmas and all that...

* * * * *
The Ego
Last year on the same date, I was getting ready to come back to Dubai for my winter break. I remember the exact date because it was exactly three months to the day after I left for my Masters. I also remember the date because history seems to be repeating itself.

A friend of Jo is currently with us because her flights have been cancelled over the last few days and she's stuck in London. My other flatmate - shall we call her Sea - is also worried as she has a flight to catch home tomorrow. Jo is flying in a couple of days to India, so...three out of the four people in the flat are a bit stressed out.

I'll be fair though, the amount of snow in London doesn't even compare to the amount of snow up north (Which is where I lived for a year) so that might give you an idea to how much snow we get this time of the year in the UK.

I did comment though, that sometimes it feels like when it snows here is like when it rains in Dubai. It happens every year regularly, yet every time it seems like both places are thrown into chaos!

* * * * *

Po has been offline for over a day now and it's a bit weird, just because of how connected we are otherwise. I've managed okay, but I do miss him a lot. Last year at this time I sent him a frantic Gtalk offliner about the amount of snow up north and how I'd never be able to fly out because the chances were my flight would be delayed. Last year around this time, I would talk to him about my by-then flagging love life and how I missed my then-boyfriend because I'd rarely see him online. It's weird how one year can turn things around in ways you least imagine.

* * * * *

Four girls were to be found today crowded around a real fireplace, drinking pink fizz (made from rosé; I must add I popped the cork myself!) and playing cards. Last year I was online, almost packed, waiting for someone...anyone...to come online to give me company.

* * * * *

One year has passed since my first "return" to Dubai. This year I won't be coming back for the winter break - not because I don't want to but because I can't. A year has passed since my life changed irrevocably.

Wait, I'd like to say...my life changed irrevocably and turned on its head 360-degrees on December 2/3 2009. I just didn't know it yet. And that's a story for another post.
Edit: Realized "another post" was already here!
The Ego


One of the songs I'm really liking right now...upbeat, cute and full of love. Plus her voice is nice too! The cherry in the topping is that loads of the lines remind me of Po :)
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The Ego
...and when you sort of deal with one problem, in comes another.

Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping against hope is all I can do right now.
The Ego
A second is all it takes for all your hopes and dreams to come to a standstill. Frozen...in limbo. Waiting for the final decision.
The Ego
After this has happened many times with my gal pals... let me say, we know best.

One of my friends has a boyfriend, who, in my opninion is a liar, who is taking advantage of her naïve and trusting nature. She's an innocent woman who is very kind to everyone she knows. This little twat of hers has hidden a lot of things about himself which she found out by accident. Most recently, she found out that he's still a member of an online dating website and regularly gets messages from women who tell him he's always on their mind. When she asked him about it, he got defensive and said she's just a friend and he forgot he was a member of the website and how she's over-reacting and how everyone talks like that to their friends. And he kept persuading her again and again...and she's confused now and would like to give him the benefit of the doubt.

My advice: you'll be well rid of him.


Another friend has a girlfriend...whom I think might be a very nice girl. However, she's completely wrong for him. She's about 6 years older to him, which is fine...but that she wants to get married right away...which is ALSO fine but he's younger than I am, is penniless and is studying. She doesn't have enough money to support them both and he's not the sort to live on his wife's money...so he doesn't want to get married any time soon. Did I mention he's younger than me? The pressure has been on him for many months now and they're quite unhappy during those patches. He's even mentioned to me how he's seriously considered leaving because he thinks he will be happier without the pressure and she will be happier with someone who does want to get married soon. But they're still together. And now I have a sneaky suspicion she has a problem with my being friends with him.

My advice: I think she's a decent girl who wants something reasonable: marriage. But you can't give that to her any time soon, so both of you would be happier apart.


Yet another friend has the latest tosser in her long line of twats. This one is those self-obsessed whiners. If she's had a crisis/problem, he immediately gets upset, saying he's so upset because of her problem and by the end of his moaning, she's consoling him when it's her needing him taking care of her. And this happens so many times, it's not even funny. Plus he's an over-possessive, insecure person, so much so she has to hide parts of her life from him because of how he will react.

My advice: he's a whiner. Also, if you feel the need to hide things from him, things which are an important part of your life, then this relationship is not healthy.


Phew...I just had to let it all out. Seriously...if your best friend has a problem with your boy/girlfriend, they're almost always right.

Disclaimer: Check that your best friend doesn't have a personal grudge against your partner before dumping him/her. Although if said personal grudge reflects badly on the character of your partner, then you'd do well to listen.
The Ego
I know it's late, but I've only recently seen The Office (US version) ... and might I just say that I'm totally crushing on John Krasinki's character Jim Halpert (yes I know I'm not a teenager).

He's absolutely adorable and acts well of course. But as much as I would love to talk about his eyes-I-could-drown-in and hair-I'd-like-to-ruffle ... this isn't what this is about!

So initially, Pam doesn't know about Jim's interest in her. And she's engaged to Roy, a guy who works in Dunder Mifflin's warehouse.

Here's the thing: Roy and Pam are NOT suited to each other. That's what I want to talk about.

He doesn't like her talking about her day. He doesn't want her to study graphic design like she wants because he thinks it will be a waste of her time. He thinks that an amazing Valentine's Day present would be - in his words - "amazing s*x". Really Roy? REALLY?

Yes it's just a TV show and I'm sure the Roy's of the world are actually okay blokes, but the Roy's of the world are not suited to the Pam's of the world. And when he stopped her from doing what she really craved I just thought...BREAK IT OFF WITH ROY, PAM! Go to JIM! He actually likes talking to you and enjoys listening to you instead of wanting to just have s*x!

Problem with women is once they've committed, they're freaked out to end things if things are not working.

My advice to all the Pam's: Break it off if you're not happy. Roy isn't going to change.
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The Ego
Po and I have settled into this comfortable routine. We're a very connected couple. I've had people tell me it's weird that I talk to him so much...but to me, not talking to your partner for 2-3 days and not minding is weird.

Anyhoo, you'd think it'd be hard, me in the UK, him in Dubai. That's 4 hours difference at the moment.

What I wouldn't give for 4 hours.

Currently, Po is in India and we've been grappling with 5.5 hours for a while now. But as I was saying, we've settled into a routine of sorts. We've two scenarios, one where I'm employed and one where I'm not.

When I'm going to work (in the last month or two I've had internships) here's how it works. He wakes me up in the morning (We have Skype running 24/7) around 7am (12.30pm for him). I go to work usually around 9am and I'm back by 6pm. During that time, we're either emailing each other or sending texts whenever we get snatches of free time. After I'm back, I quickly catch up with him and if he's awake, I eat dinner with him around 6.30pm (midnight for him) and then he goes to sleep. When I head to bed, whether it's 10pm or midnight (3.30am or 5.30am), he wakes up for a bit, so we can go to sleep together. And the days go on like so.

When I'm not going to work/internships/whatchamacallit, it's more or less the same, except I manage to have lunch with him around 12.30pm/1pm (6-6.30pm for him). When he gets home from work (yes he works inspite of me being around on Skype :P), we watch TV together. I take off the headset on my laptop so he can hear what's playing on my side. We cue in a TV show and hit play; when it's synced, we either watch it with my side on loudspeaker and his on headset, or both of us headset-ting it if it's late and I don't want to disturb any of my flatmates. Then dinner, he sleeps, I wake him up, we sleep, and so on.

What's my point? Long-distance relationships don't have to be painful or a drag. Finding out what works for you as a couple can make it fun and satisfying. And to all those people who wonder how he gets any work done with me on a Skype call all the time...dude I'm not talking 24/7 and neither is he! I just enjoy having him around when I work and he does too. Sometimes if I'm working on an assignment or something, I'm quiet for a while, then say something or ask for an opinion. He does the same. We've learned the balance between work and giving time to each other and I'm thankful for that.

Although... I can't wait till February...when it becomes 4 hours again (he goes back to Dubai!). And by end of March, with the DST changes, it'll be 3 hours! YAY!

PS - As I typed this, he was sleeping. He's a cute sleeper...haha :D
DISCLAIMER: All opinions expressed on this blog are the bloggers private thoughts, not meant to cause harm. Take everything with a pinch of salt.