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The Ego
I was just about to turn in for the night and since I have a mild cough, decided to have some cough syrup before I slept. I went to the kitchen and on a fancy, decided to look out the window and see if it was raining and how much etc. That's when it got...weird?

I went to the windows (which are actually French Windows, i.e., full length glass) and looked out. No rain. But two people gesticulating wildly and so many floors up, I could hear faint but indistinguishable noise coming from them. I switched off the lights and went back to see what was happening. Condemn me for voyeurism if you like, but it did look... unstable. After insane gesturing, suddenly the girl tried to launch herself at the guy who quite volubly pushed her away physically. Once. Twice. Thrice. A few more times. Then she put her hands on her head, as if in despair and then (and I kid you not) prostrated herself on the ground!!! I was like...OH. SHIT. What the hell??? Then she finally got up and then, in a volte-face, he hugged her but in a few moments he jumped back and then they BOTH started shaking fists at each other. This went on for a bit until they walked off, one chasing the other almost ...

Dude...what just happened? :S
The Ego
Well I seem to be posting a lot lately!!! Okay ... I've been tagged by Closed Eyes and... here goes nothing!

THREE WAYS I AM STILL A KID
1. I adore animation movies over almost every other genre (sci-fi/fantasy sometimes comes above!!!)
2. I still curl up and hug my mother and sleep when I need her.
3. I use ONLY animation movie bedsheets and towels. Currently Dumbo is on my bed and Tarzan and Jane are on my towel. Finding Nemo is my quilt set. Ya see?

THREE WAYS I AM ALREADY OLD:
1. I take waaaay more tension than I need to.
2. I have to deal with standing orders and direct debits and stupid credit cards that make me shop online...!!!
3. I already have a huge responsibility on me...

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO:
1. Be able to walk faster than I do now.
2. Be able to go back to Dubai sooner and more often.
3. Make the important people in my life happy.

THREE WAYS THAT I'M A STEREOTYPICAL "BOY": (I'm not a boy though. Just to clarify.)
1. I drive like boys do, apparently.
2. Pants all the way.
3. Don't wear make-up as such (kajal and chapstick DO NOT count!!!)

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Making a snow-person (oh yeah it's going to snow here!)
2. Paintball (I haven't done it yet...*sigh*)
3. Make a magazine on my own. (which will happen in Summer '10 anyway!)

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My amazing ability to stress myself out.
2. My equally amazing ability to jump to conclusions and then fantasize about allll the terrible things that would entail afterward.
3. My carelessness.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: (interpreting this my own way; not sure what it's asking)
1. Because of my mixed parentage, I can speak (however rudimentary) not only Hindi but two other regional languages of India and understand two more at least.
2. I attribute my writing skills to my maternal grandfather, who was a freelance journalist himself.
3. This may sound ridiculous but my skin type is all because of my Mom's side of the family. And it comes from HER Mom's side of the family.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Creepy-crawlies; spiders, cockroaches... all that.
2. Driving or walking down steep inclines.
3. The concept of death.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Cell phones (yes, two. One with my Dubai number, one with my UK number!)
2. Laptop/internet
3. Chapstick

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Neck (it has to be comfortable for me to snuggled into!!!)
2. Hair (sounds weird but I notice a man's hair first... can't stand hair-gel though!)
3. Hands (firm and strong is key!)

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Do a split with my legs.
2. Cut a whole chicken.
3. Watch horror movies.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Journalist.
2. Journalist.
3. Journalist.

TEN things you wish you could say to ten different people right now:
1. I miss you so much; I never thought I would...not this much.
2. I hope you think about me...I hope you remember me... I hope it's not 'out of sight, out of mind'. And I love you.
3. Please remember to make rumballs for Christmas...I'll be back then!!!
4. I'm worried you don't have as much time for me as you used to...
5. I found an unexpected friend in you. I mean, we were friends before, but you've been even more amazing over the last month or so... I'm so grateful you're here.
6. I'm sorry if I was short with you when we spoke last. I'm just not sure what to think any more.
7. You may not realize it yet, but after hearing everything...I think you like her. You'll just figure it out much later. But you'll get there.
8. I'm almost a journalist... I hope you're happy :)
9. You've made my life in UK less lonely by being a friend and meeting me even after 6 hour long bus rides.
10. I know your dirty little secret.

EIGHT ways to win your heart:
1. Don't smoke. Or get drunk. And don't do porn.
2. Be accepting of who I am as a person.
3. Encourage me when I falter.
4. Lavish attention on me when I need it. Surprise me with attention when I don't.
5. Love me. And show it.
6. Know when to hold me. And do it.
7. Be honest always.
8. Don't treat other girls the way you treat me. There has to be a difference.

SIX songs that really mean something to you
1. Here Without You by 3 Doors Down
2. Rehab by Rihanna
3. How to Save a Life by The Fray
4. You and Me by Lifehouse
5. Disturbia by Rihanna
6. Jaane Kyun from the movie Dostana

FIVE things that cross your mind a lot:
1. Dubai
2. Shawarmas
3. Exams
4. Job prospects in the UK
5. Birthdays

FOUR things you do before you fall asleep:
1. Check my email.
2. Wash my face.
3. Set the alarm for the next morning.
4. Read sms's on my phone.

THREE foods that mean something to me
1. Mom's baked chicken dish.
2. McDonald's. Especially if it's eaten in a car.
3. French toast.

TWO confessions:
1. Since about 11 years ago, whenever an eyelash of mine falls off, I make a wish. That wish has not changed for the last 11 years.
2. I'm a bit of a stalker.

ONE thing you're thinking about right now:
1. Going to sleep really... hehe...
The Ego
Okay, giving you advance warning for the possibility of another weird post from me. It might even get depressing; who knows!

Right, so here's the deal: it struck me today that I haven't been touched neither have I touched another person since coming here. Okay, before you get your thoughts stuck in the gutter, read on. In Dubai, my Mom would keep patting me sometimes, mostly when I say or do something stupid, so it'd be like a mild slap/pat on my back in exasperation. Sometimes if I had nightmares, I'd make her sleep on my bed, so I'd curl up into her and drift off to sleep. My bro is ALWAYS physically around. If he's not hugging me (read: strangling :P), he's pinching me or hitting me (for real!!! :D) and I constantly pat him on his head (coz he's cute :D) or hug him or give him a kiss. Also, I have a physical aspect of my relationships with Stained and Jo.

Ummmmm... here, I think I shook hands with a few people two months back. But err...apart from that, in essence I haven't felt another human being's skin/flesh/whatever you want to call it, since September.

And it's weird.
The Ego
The thing that goes bump in the night here...

... is my flatmate.

For a little background, I share my flat with 5 other girls. During the first week of uni, only 5 of us (including me, i.e.) had arrived. We had all but given up hope that the 6th room would be filled, when she arrived. So it was a full house from then on.

A few weeks back, the entire flat woke up at 0336 hrs. It was security banging on our door. Why? Flatmate1 had called them on Flatmate2 (the new girl). Why? Because 1 claimed 2 was making lots of noise that woke her up. Prior to this, 1 had been to the management many times, complaining about her, and also complaining to the mentor assigned to our flat.

Now it does sound terrible, especially if she wasn't getting any sleep and 2 was making so much noise. BUT ... and here's the crunch ... when asked what noises they were that woke her up... she said it was the drawer opening and closing and squeaky noises. Eh. Wot? Apparently, the mentor assigned to our flat was made to come to our flat past midnight because 1 said 2 was making a racket. The mentor said she heard nothing except for normal noises you'd expect if you share a thin wall with someone else. But nothing that could warrant 1's incessant complaining. She (i.e. our mentor) is completely fed up and said she doesn't want to come to our flat anymore for something stupid like this. I don't blame her.

This weekend that just went by? 1 called security. Again. This time around 0130 hours. The entire flat woke up again. Next day me and another flatmate went to the mentors ourselves and told them we don't want security coming for this complaint as we all honestly think 1 is imagining things.

The worst part is, when 1 says 2 is making noise, she NEVER knocks on 2's door and tells her that she's disturbed, so 2 has, in effect, no clue whatsoever what exactly is bothering 1. In fact, 2 has become so annoyed, she thinks 1 won't talk to her because of the colour of her skin!!! Plus when everyone keeps telling 1 to just tell 2 immediately when she hears the noise so if it is a legitimate concern, at least 2 will know what the issue is. 1 refuses to speak to her.

A while back, I overheard 1 telling some guy (obviously not from our flat) that she thinks her flatmates (that would be me and the 4 others) think she's mad because she complains about 2.

Ya think???
The Ego
I remember when I was leaving Dubai, Jo said I'm going to go to the UK and have lots of fun and party and make loads of new friends.

I have come to the UK.
I do like my life here.
I don't party. Not because I cannot but because I choose not to.
And while I do have friends, possibly 'very good acquaintances' are a better way of putting it.
I spend most of my weekends alone.
I realized I'm not someone who enjoys a solitary life. I need people around me.
I haven't spoken to my friends from Dubai much. Well, not as much as I'd like.
My course is going very well.
Oh and I learned how to cook. Another good thing.
Seeing new places. Also good.
I miss shawarmas.

I can't wait to come back to Dubai.
The Ego
When someone says they're never ever ever going to indulge in a sexual innuendo or a double entendre and that they're disgusted when ABC and XYZ do it ... AND THEN end up typing something like that online - supposedly by mistake - you'd think they'd delete it? The tools we have available online are amazing: there often always is a 'delete' button. It. Is. Meant. To. Be. Used. With a click of a button, WHAM... your "mistake" is gone.

But instead of removing said mistake, you just leave it there and say oh my that sounds weird. Well if it sounds weird... take it off.

Amazed at internet ignorance (as much as these kind of actions indicate the person did it purposely ie left it online and wanted people to see it, I cannot stretch myself to think that of this particular person). Disappointed in a way. Also feel it is hypocritical on their part.

Ah well...
The Ego
I do laundry at timed intervals. Simply because I cannot force myself to spend £3 (or about AED18.6 at the moment) to wash and dry just a small handful of clothes.

Anyway, I've found something great to do with the time my clothes are in the washing machine and dryer, 38 minutes plus 50 minutes respectively. Most people leave the clothes there, come back and pick them up. Not me. No sirrreeeee! I sit there, I plonk myself down, I lay siege to that room... and I study.

Really.

It's BRILLIANT. I have 88 minutes of uninterrupted time. My cell phone is on silent and stuffed in my bag. I don't have my laptop and consequently the internet to distract me, and most of the times I've used the laundry for this purpose, I practice shorthand or catch up on my reading for various classes.

One problem though: I find it weird when transferring the wet clothes from the washing machine to the dryer and later, from the dryer to my bag... Why? Because if the room is not empty, I'm mildly uncomfortable with other people possibly catching a glimpse of the...err...more personal items in the laundry. I've adopted a camouflage tactic in this regard: I reach my hand in the machine, bundle the personal items inside something else, like a t-shirt or something and then transfer that entire bundle into the bag. Most of the time it works. Sometimes it has not. Then I hope my super-fast (or what I hope is super-fast) sleight of hand will keep those items undetected.

I mean, I doubt anyone is purposely looking at me emptying the dryer or the machine; I know I don't look at people doing that. But you never know, right?
The Ego
This is ridiculous.

I started typing something out, wrote a good three-four paragraphs but then ended up hitting Shift+Up and then Delete.

Then I typed about 20-30 words and started hitting the Backspace button furiously.

You know it's bad news for an anonymous blog when you wonder if someone might figure out who you are after reading what you have to say. Or worse, wonder if the person(s) mentioned in the post might see it, figure out who THEY are and then get miffed.

Shit. Where do I let off what was brewing inside me now???

I do NOT want to start another anonymous blog (although to be VERY honest, I've been toying with that idea lately); I already have another blog apart from this one with my real name on it, meant for...well non-personal things. Three blogs to handle? I don't think so.

Maybe if I get high on coffee or chocolate or MAYBE if I'm really really pissed off, I might say, To HECK with everyone, I'll post whatever I want.

Or not.
The Ego
This week is 'Proud to be Postgraduate' week ... so there are seminars, events and outings geared specifically for us doddering PGs.

I went to one such seminar today; it dealt with the procedure as to how to stay in the UK after our courses end. Currently the way out is to wait until our results come out (mid- to end of November 2010) and then apply for a Post-Study Work Visa which extends stay in the UK for another two years after which one can transfer to another tier in the visa list and AFTER completion of which one gets the option of becoming a resident. Of course this all implies that we do actually work in the UK as opposed to not!

Anyway, apart from that, the requirements revolve around money, of course, and having specific documents.

And one other thing.

I cannot travel out of the UK from the end of September 2010 if I want to apply for this visa from within the UK. If I do travel out, there is a very high chance that I will not be allowed entry again even though my student visa is valid till end of January 2011. It's a bit too lengthy to explain so I won't get into it (once the PSW visa is approved though, I can travel in and out whenever I like).

But the implied ban on travelling raised many questions, doubts and problems for me.
Do I want to work in the UK after my Masters? Is it worth it? Do I take the effort of keeping a constant amount of £800 in my bank (if ever in the 3 months prior to my application, my bank balance goes even a penny below this sum, I get refused a visa. Oh and if I do leave UK and apply for this visa from Dubai, I can do it, but instead of showing £800, I need to show £2800!!!)? Do I construct my trips to Dubai in such a way that my UAE visa doesn't get cancelled? Do I want to spend the £500 TO apply for the PSW visa? Logistics and money questions are spinning in my head.

I'm coming to Dubai in December and going back to UK in January. If I decide that yes, I want to take the effort to work in the UK for a bit, then the only way out is to come back to Dubai in July before 6 months are up, and hope that my UK visa gets sorted by Jan 2011 before 6 months are up for my UAE visa to get cancelled. And I need to figure out if my family can afford my stay in the UK for a few additional months (rent, living costs!) PLUS the £800 that needs to stay constant in my bank.

I'm lost...

And to add to this, potentially the Tories will come to power in the May general election here, which means>>>>>>>>>>>> potential policy changes! They could become stricter with these visas to be honest... what do I do then?

Much to think about and much to discuss with my family in a few days.
The Ego
I think this post might come as a complete surprise and perhaps, shock to people who know me well. So ... don't freak out y'all ... this is probably and hopefully a passing phase.

I think I might've mentioned before how many people are getting engaged, married, having babies, becoming grandparents (ok, not grandparents, but you get my point) lately. I've always been, and still am, of the viewpoint that people getting married at the age of 18 or say, even 20-21 is a tad too young. Girls, and even boys no doubt, have not experienced life on their own, have not formed world-opinions yet and don't, I feel, have the necessary mental and emotional grit to indulge in a life-long committment. Heck, 18 year olds get bored of their phones in a few months. Not that I mean to compare phones and spouses, but life-long at 18? A bit much IMO. Unless of course, you're shackled in a bit of undying love a lá Romeo and Juliet (Okay not really...coz as you know, they kicked the bucket pretty fast and if you ask me, Romeo was a bit too flighty).

What's my overall conclusion? Marriage is not for the young and the naïve, but for the slightly-older and wiser (but girls, please don't get married after you're too old...only because childbirth is harder, and no other reason).

I'm 22 and I'm studying for my Masters degree as readers of this blog and my friends might know. I'm not particularly interested in getting married and DEFINITELY do not want children any time soon (read: well...if I have kids, will pop them out before I'm 30 and be done with it).

So what's the problem???

Erm...well.

I *think* I want to get married :S

NO WAIT WAIT WAIT DON'T FALL OFF THE CHAIR! READ ON PLEASE!!!

I don't want to get married NOW. I'm just 22 for cryin' out loud and I haven't even finished my Masters yet! It's just that I feel like the girls and boys whom I know who are engaged are lucky in the sense that they do care for the person they're engaged to (at least, the people I know anyway), and love them enough to want to be with them. Having someone, having a person you know is pledging to be with you literally forever (although pledges NEVER equal firm life-long committment and we ALL know that!), is something I'm currently envying in a I'm-happy-for-them-and-envy-their-happiness way (not a IHATETHEMFORFINDINGHAPPINESS way).

So what I'm saying is, those who know who you're ending up with, or if you've already ended up with them... good for you and I hope you remain happy! :)
DISCLAIMER: All opinions expressed on this blog are the bloggers private thoughts, not meant to cause harm. Take everything with a pinch of salt.