Two anxiety/panic attacks in the span of two weeks is NOT good. I haven't slept all night. Literally. Considering I've been up tonight, hopefully I should get sleep tomorrow night!
This time, instead of panicking and calling the health service like I did the last time (I've had panic attacks before, and got myself checked when in Dubai; I know what I'm dealing with but it's harder to when I'm alone here), I called the nightline service. That's the listening service the uni offers from late night till early morning for nutcases like me who can't sleep and need someone to randomly chatter with. It was weird at first, but kind of felt good to unload my thoughts on a stranger; no names are exchanged or numbers stored on this service... which is why it's popular. Anonymity is guaranteed. The person on the other line was suitably attentive and helpful. Anyway I got a number for an anxiety clinic that's run by the university; plan to check them out.
I called Jo after that...she called me back and spoke to me for 15-20 mins. It felt so good to hear her, to be able to connect to my life in Dubai. To be able to tell her that hey, I'm doing well in some areas and not so well in others.
I guess tonight was brought on by the fact that I was missing home ... today was ... no... IS an important day and I sort of purposely screwed it up ... although to be fair, I didn't realize my meddling would get such bad consequences... ah well.
I need to fix this..............................