It's been a long week of introspection ...
I was bewildered when I realized in school that people were two-faced. I assumed things at face value until their deceit showed up. Even 5th grade onwards can prepare you for the deceit in life.
I was annoyed last year when Lifford came to Dubai the second time around. I never got to meet Jo alone; it was like buy Jo and get Lifford free.
I was secretly 90% amused and 10% flattered when someone I didn't like asked me out. The flattered part came in only because before that no one had shown any interest in me. Other than wanting to copy my fucking notes.
I was humiliated in school when I was about 14 years old, when a group of boys coming in for their afternoon shift followed me with taunts of "Fatty" and catcalls.
I felt cheated when I was told that Mom had given birth to a boy. I wanted a girl to play with. I felt even more cheated when he was diagnosed with autism.
I don't think I've experienced such excitement lately as when I went to UK this year with a group of friends. The independence was heady and intoxicating even.
I was crushed when I found out that even someone you trust 100% can hurt you and make you feel hollow inside, and made me wonder if I can ever really trust anyone in this world.
I felt I was a dirty little secret when Kazz admitted once he didn't want to accompany me to MoE one time that I wanted to use a voucher I had because someone might spot him with a girl.
I felt completely loved when I found that Stained had my car filled with pink balloons one year on my birthday.
When someone told me 'I love you' I cried. I never heard that person say it ever again. I cried some more. Then I stopped.
I know I can count on Jo for anything; more than I can count on anyone else.
I feel college has dumbed me down. Even the English I speak has become of a lower grade to accommodate the people who claimed they couldn't understand the - and I quote - high-funda words I spoke. There are only a handful of people in this world whom I feel I can talk to as equals in that sense.
I miss talking to people at night. They just don't realize how much.
I hate someone for how he's ruined the life of someone I love.
I aspire to be one amongst the most important people in the lives of those who are most important to me. It breaks me if I feel I'm not.
And to end on a lighter note ... I laughed when my doctor told me to eat more chicken.
I was bewildered when I realized in school that people were two-faced. I assumed things at face value until their deceit showed up. Even 5th grade onwards can prepare you for the deceit in life.
I was annoyed last year when Lifford came to Dubai the second time around. I never got to meet Jo alone; it was like buy Jo and get Lifford free.
I was secretly 90% amused and 10% flattered when someone I didn't like asked me out. The flattered part came in only because before that no one had shown any interest in me. Other than wanting to copy my fucking notes.
I was humiliated in school when I was about 14 years old, when a group of boys coming in for their afternoon shift followed me with taunts of "Fatty" and catcalls.
I felt cheated when I was told that Mom had given birth to a boy. I wanted a girl to play with. I felt even more cheated when he was diagnosed with autism.
I don't think I've experienced such excitement lately as when I went to UK this year with a group of friends. The independence was heady and intoxicating even.
I was crushed when I found out that even someone you trust 100% can hurt you and make you feel hollow inside, and made me wonder if I can ever really trust anyone in this world.
I felt I was a dirty little secret when Kazz admitted once he didn't want to accompany me to MoE one time that I wanted to use a voucher I had because someone might spot him with a girl.
I felt completely loved when I found that Stained had my car filled with pink balloons one year on my birthday.
When someone told me 'I love you' I cried. I never heard that person say it ever again. I cried some more. Then I stopped.
I know I can count on Jo for anything; more than I can count on anyone else.
I feel college has dumbed me down. Even the English I speak has become of a lower grade to accommodate the people who claimed they couldn't understand the - and I quote - high-funda words I spoke. There are only a handful of people in this world whom I feel I can talk to as equals in that sense.
I miss talking to people at night. They just don't realize how much.
I hate someone for how he's ruined the life of someone I love.
I aspire to be one amongst the most important people in the lives of those who are most important to me. It breaks me if I feel I'm not.
And to end on a lighter note ... I laughed when my doctor told me to eat more chicken.
I'm sorry and I don't blame you, I'm sure Jo was annoyed too.
we should have CHICKEN sizzler at yoko's next week...and then ice cream after that....what say??
why was it funny when he said more chicken? are you veg?
as for trust, it is a difficult thing to get, and extremely easy to break.
@Lifford... possibly, I don't know. But not as annoyed as I was. No offence!
@Stained... I already told you my answer ...
@MJ ... I'm a bit of a vociferous chicken-eater...very rarely does a day go by that I don't eat any chicken. My reaction to him was, how much more chicken can I possibly eat?!?!
Yokos... hmmm.. Stained.. if she said no, can I come instead? :oP
Although, I dont eat no chicken boy!
oh yea, the Ice Cream's included - that goes without saying.
@Harsha ... nuh-uh ... I said yes... :P
oh Damn ;o)
This is a cute-tween kinda blog. Pleasure reading :)
@Rosh ... thanks ...
... erm, I'm 22! :-o
Hi,Dee-that was touching..and,u know what,there's a simple common thread'expectations'..I realized it the hard way-the more your expectations,the worse you feel when you're let down..now,I'm totally ok.:)Try it..but,yes,keep the max expectations from your own self..as you mentioned' I aspire to be one amongst the most important people in the lives of those who are most important to me.'...that's great.
ok salam its been a while ....
1. about u should have been a boy... well u were born a girl coz it was ment to be ... blessing from God nothing can change that... be proud of the life given to you by god and coz of ur parents trust me coz life... sorry but stop whining about that part...
" i had an uncle who denided the birth of his first born coz she was a girl refused to even go to the hospital ... he is british... he wanted a boy ... now a couple of decades later, he has slowly realised his mistake but still is happy he has a son" she is not making an issue of it and has also started UNI...
2. as for ur brother am so sorry to here of that, I hope he becomes bettter.. dont know that to say...
3 friendship betrayal... all things happen for a reason, over te years u will learn to know who to trust with wat.... it comes with experiences and life its not a vicious cycle but one that teaches u a lot ....
4. we love we hate we cry we laugh and each time we do that it is different ....such is life :-)
last but not least dont carry so much negativity with u ur only poisining urself its ok to cry and feel hurt and all of that but dont let it consume u and become bitter .... :-)
sorry if i gave u this long lecture ...i was in a similer place once apon a time ... that is the only reason i said such ...
if it upset u then ignore it if it has make u think a thing or 2 or even half i am going to be happy either way :-)
take care of u and smile
oh and as for the dr. and the chiken u should have gone cockadoodle doo or dee which ever :-)
JJ ... I never said I wanted to be a boy, read it carefully. I said I wanted a sister, but got a brother.
I have never, and will never, say that I want to be a boy.
my bad sorry about that, i didnt read it correctly but still why would u feal cheated just coz u had a brother it is still life a gift :-)
oh and btw thank u and also sorry about the loss of ur grandfather may his soul rest in peace
@JJ ... I was expecting a girl, got a guy ... and got over my feelings of resentment pretty fast ... so it's not like I'm still bugged abt it! I mean, I was only 9 when he was born...an immature kid!
Besides, now ... in a way I'm glad he's a boy coz I think it's harder to take care of autistic girls.