Anyway, here's the link to where I first saw the upcoming post, i.e. in Nick's blog, and this is where you can find the original post! I'm not going to say anything about it ... would just like people to read this as I feel it makes an impact on its own. Oh, and please leave your prejudices at the door; if you can't, then don't read.
My son is gay. I knew that he was gay when I realized that he had too many good things about him to be just one person; I think that he was two years old. His interests were varied, as were his abilities. Not only was he more able to get along with both genders better than most adults, but, as he grew up, he was able to converse on a multitude of subjects and participate in a multitude of activities. Do NOT insert snide remark here. He suffered because of who he was. I didn’t know it; he was that caring to protect me.
If you are not on good terms with your gay or lesbian child, you and your child will miss out…YOU more than your child. You will not be let in to his or her world and you will not be entrusted with their love. You will not be revered, respected or cared about if you do not know what a gift your child is. The fact that he or she is gay takes away nothing from the priceless life you brought into the world. It is another facet of who your child is and another piece of the magnificent puzzle that is life.
As my father said to my son when my son told him that he was gay, “Grandson, that means as much to me as the color of your eyes.” My father was an incredible man, just like my son.
Homosexuality is not a choice; it is part of a human’s makeup. Do you really believe that anyone wakes up one day and says to himself or to herself, “I think that, from now on, I will conduct myself in a completely different and largely unacceptable manner. I will make myself become attracted to someone of my same sex and I will prefer things that are confusing to all who love me. I will fight the urges of my physiology, sexuality and chemistry and do the exact opposite. I want to be someone who is often beat up, harassed and usually dismissed as being less than a human being. I want to be ridiculed and unloved by my parents and disciplined, sometimes unmercifully, for being other than what they had in mind when they created me.” Think about that for a few seconds. What in the Universe would be the gain of such actions?If you have been unsupportive of your child because he or she is gay, you have just plain been unsupportive of your child. If you have had angry thoughts or have chastised or punished your child because of their homosexuality, you have acted against the very essence of life. Your child may very well go on and thrive anyway. However, it will never be because of anything positive that you did on their behalf. It will be in spite of all you have done to bring down the very being to whom you gave life. My son and his partner, Sam, had their committment ceremony over a year ago. As the most important icing on the wedding cake, they are now legally married. Sam is so amazing! I could not have asked for a better son-in-law!
Every child teaches his or her parents many things. They teach us what a true love really is, how much of a child we always will be and they teach us that the world is a wonderful place. They bring hope to the world while they bring validation to our existence. They are the children of the Universe…the future…the reason to face another day. Depriving your child of your love, trust, affection and esteem will cause you to wither and die an unfulfilled human; unloved by the very creature who was meant to love you unconditionally. Your days will echo with the laughter that might have been and you will look forward to the night because it brings sleep…and, with sleep, escape from the light.If you are concerned about what sexual acts take place behind the door of privacy, are you so certain that the acts you perform behind those doors…or even elsewhere…are those which you believe are someone else’s business? If you show scorn to your homosexual child, or worse, you have done a crime against nature. Are you certain that it is wrong for two people to make love…ANY two people…more wrong than two people bringing fear and pain to each other? Have YOU ever been cherished?
I hope that I live long enough to see that marriage between same-gender people is accepted in our culture. There are so many people who accept hate between people and murder between people. The old hippie saying of “Make Love, Not War” is more blistering a comment on these times than I would ever have imagined. If you want to lose your connection to the Earth and to your time here, all you have to do is forsake your child.
Do not get me wrong; there is nothing for YOU to forgive. However, there is much for your child to forgive…if you ever get the chance and if you ever see the light. And this is the most important of all of my…tales from a broad.
I think the 4th para of the article is so true... it's what I've been trying to tell detractors of homosexuality, but they don't seem to listen.
I mean, my brother is autistic. What if one day people got up and said, being autistic is WRONG and isn't normal, so let's throw him out of society and abuse him and beat him and kill him? Well it isn't "normal" simply because it doesn't prescribe to the NORM; it doesn't mean it's WRONG.
Not being normal doesn't equate to sin. It equates to difference. That is all.
Do you agree the homosexuality is NOT normal? I do agree that it's not a crime. Other views in person D..k?
Heyyy,Dee-grt to see u're back..I'd checked three-four times and no posts..let me read at leisure,kal or day after!:)
erm...i have nuthin against homosexuals...but i know i'd feel reallly uncomfortable knowing my kid was oriented tht way....its jus part of my makeup i guess...certain values n way of thinking have been instilled in me...which makes it hard to accept certain things...ofcourse id still luv my child!
i dont think its fair to compare being disabled with homosexuality...in the sense ppl with the former condition have no choice while the latter do.but thts jus the way i feel...
@Zanzibar... just curious... you're saying homosexuals have the "choice" to see whether they like ppl of the same or opposite sex and they choose to like ppl of the same sex?
Did you CHOOSE to like the opposite gender or did you just know you liked them instinctively?
its good u brought tht up ....i did want to provoke this discussion i guess...as a matter of fact i've known ppl who have been oriented both ways.....in the sense tht i know a few ppl who experimented with their sexuality....n in the end they chose which way they wanted to go....sum ppl jus chose the path less travelled....
a gay person does not jus wake up one day n realise he is gay...
actually to me this sentence says it all....the process happens over time....i dont know if its a concious choice they make but it may b a subconcious one...but i wudnt know...coz i'm not gay....
such factors as the environment they live in...or certain preconceived notions tht a person may have about the sexes could trigger this off.....many a case of homosexuality, is found in cases where there is increased exposure to members of the same sex...eg: an all girls/ boys hostel....soldiers at war who are away from their spouses for long periods of time....people in jail...who are seperated from the opposite sex for long perids of time....so these people were normal to begin with but mayb i feel their environment or their circumstances might help make the decision for them....
in fact i even know of 2 girls who were gay...n openly so...until their parents forced them apart ....n made sure they were given proper counselling n stuff...n thn 1 of them went back to being normal(i dont knw about the other 1)
we(my friends n i) had an interesting conversation ...we were all asked a question by my frend....the qns was....if u were sumhow isolated with two other ppl ..say on a deserted island or sumthing- one of them is a very very ugly man who is disgusting in all aspects to u....n the other is a very beautiful woman who is well...lets say near perfect...who wud u 'prefer'?
interestingly all of us girls answered tht we wud prefer the woman.....
anyway...all i'd like to say is tht i'm no expert on the subject ....these are jus my opinions n i'm a pretty open minded person....
in fact the day tht they discover a gene tht decides sexual orientation toward the same sex...or sumthing of a similar manner...then i will beilieve tht homosexuality is part of the genetic makeup...jus like being disabled...until thn i still think its a "choice" ....D
i have more to say on this but i think ill stop for now....
Thanks for the linkback D!
What's interesting for me is when I meet people who say "Oh I have no problem with gay people - but I wouldn't want to have a gay kid"
And I'm like 0_o ?
@Zanzi ... ppl oriented both ways are called bisexual. Nothing wrong with that either.
Sure, I agree about environmental factors, with cases of soldiers, jails etc where repressed feelings are released by indulging in same sex acts. Not saying that doesn't exist, but that's not the only places where same sex acts take place yeah? I mean, ppl living outside such conditions also are gay?
I betcha that girl is pretending to be "normal" as you call it. I cannot imagine being "counselled" to like members of the same sex when I like members of the opposite sex. Same case with homosexuals being counselled? Bullshit. If they like members of the same sex, they like members of the same sex. If they claim to now suddenly like members of the opposite sex, I don't think they were homosexual in the first place, or that they're just saying it to keep ppl happy and get rid of the damn counsellors. Oh and counsellors who aim to change the sexuality of people should be barred from the occupation.
My personal feelings.
@Nick ... hehe, that's what my Mum says!!! Hahaa... I don't get it either. I don't mind my kids being either hetero- or homo- sexual. Honestly. I know some ppl tell me, "yeah that's what you say now" but I'm pretty sure I won't care either way. As long as they're happy.
ofcourse nick u wudnt get what it feels like for a parent to have to accept their kid is gay...u're already gay...
and D...u're comparing gayness with the autism ure brother was diagnosed with....so u consider ureself already having to go thru with sumthing similar....its just not the same thing...what if i were to compare gayness with the tendency to rape...(is tht also part of a person's genetic makeup?!)if u were to look at it from a religious standpoint mayb thn ud feel different..but u're agnostic...so tht
LOL what does being gay have anything to do with autism? Autism has less stigma I feel than being gay coz autistics are not hated, homosexuals are. Big difference. Autistics are looked at with caution yes, sometimes even discriminated against, sure. But the set of behaviours directed at autistics are vastly different in my opinion. I don't know, I don't have gay relatives that I know of. Nopes, my acceptance has nothing to do with going through being in an autistic family, as it were. At the most, autism has opened my eyes to differences among people, which I am thankful for.
Oh and rape is a crime. You can't compare that to sexual preferences. That's just stupid.
And again, I know MANY people who are religious but are accepting of homosexuals, and at the same time many who are against homosexuality because of what their religion says. But then religion directed Christians to persecute Jews (Holocaust anyone? The Inquisition?), it directed Hindus to attack Muslims (Gujarat riots??? More than a million examples in India where Muslims were killed for no reason whatsoever other than their religion?) and it led Muslims to interpret a peaceful religion into one of violence (Al Qaeda? Taliban? People throwing words like Jihad around when it actually does not mean what the media in current times claims it means?), recently in Mangalore churches were attacked, my friend's father and brother were inside when it happened so forgive me when I say that religion means squat to me. As long as you're a good person, I don't give a damn what religion you belong to and whom you pray to. So me being agnostic has no bearing on anything in this post other than the fact that I feel owning up to not following any religion was as hard for me as it might be for a homosexual ocming out of their closet, because I didn't know how ppl would react. I still haven't told my family other than my Mother coz they'd throw a fit. So that.
i jus thot u were comparing the whole thing to autism coz of ure first comment...now the confusion has been lifted...
n y i brought up the rape thiing...was bcoz it makes about as much sense to compare a rapist with a gay person as it does to compare gayness with being disabled?
True rape is a crime...but so was being mad(mentally disabled) and indulging in gay sex acts..many many years ago.
and religion is not only about massacres nd riots....its so much more...n no religion encourages such atrocities....it is the ppl who pervert religion...
wat i meant by bringing up religion was tht ...i believe God has created man..and for him a companion-the woman! but as i said thts jus my belief...
i have nuthing against gay ppl bcoz every1 is entitled to their own preferences...
To each his own!
Highly doubt that no matter how mant years pass by, rape will never be legalized... anyway...
Abt religion... I agree with you!!! That's what I said!!! No religion talks abt violence, it's the ppl who pervert its meaning and spread false info abt what that religion is all about. My point was that ppl are committing crimes in the name of religion and that is wrong... that's it.
who's gonna represent the asexual s here?
Didn't bother reading this long post...now I've read the post and the comments...this is such a useless topic!!!
Gays are by choice, nothing natural about it...don't argue with me cause nothing you say in favour of homosexuality is gonna change the way I think...so that!!!
Stained...not interested in arguing with you as I already know what you think about this.