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The Ego

I'd won two tickets for this movie and went to see it Sunday night (that's not me holding the tickets btw). What's so special about it??? More than the actual movie itself... it was coming home past 11pm on my own...no one dropping me, my parents didn't pick me up and all the usual stuff that accompanies me being out of the house at that time. I drove to the cinema, and drove back. At night. Although my Mum did make my Dad stay up till 11:20pm (which is when I got home), yes she forced him to; he normally sleeps at 10-ish... and as soon as I walked in, he literally ran to bed!!!

Has ANYONE else been having problems with Etisalat? Thing is, in the middle of phone calls, even when you're in an area with full mobile coverage, suddenly the call gets cut and it shows on the phone that there's no signal in the area. And it's not just happened to me... my Mum, Staind... I make calls and would like them to continue until I want to cut them you know... in the middle of IMPORTANT phone calls, the damn signal goes off completely!!! And if anyone tried to call me a few seconds after the call gets cut, they hear the voice saying my cell is switched off when it's most certainly not! What's going on???

Anyways ... Eid Mubarak everyone :)
The Ego
Just felt like saying I miss going to college (No I don't miss the actual college that I went to...no way in hell) ... am talking about the other things...
I miss having somewhere to go every morning.
I miss being able to see some of my most favourite people almost everyday.
I miss being able to go to the dead beach or the Burj Al Arab beach now and then and take wacky pictures.
I miss sharing lunch or snacks with my friends at different places.
I miss the impromptu things me and my friends would do.
I miss driving up to KV and seeing friend's cars already parked there.
I miss the random drives I would go on with friends.
I miss you.

Guess another thing that contributes to this whole mood is that I live on one end of Dubai while all the people I want to meet on a regular basis live on the other end. I had college as an excuse to see them regularly. And now with the extra Salik tollgates, the distance seems more. Even though in the last year of college...well, you could say the number of people I used to spend time with reduced... the ones who stayed with me till the end... it's them I miss. Not sycophants from before...maybe they were always the same and I didn't see it. Doesn't matter now...hmmm...

In a nostalgic mood basically ...
The Ego
Soooo ... I was in Deira yesterday when I noticed that I had ... a flat!!!

Luckily I wasn't driving at the time; I actually pulled my car out of a parking lot when I felt the car was moving funny with a lot of noise plus my steering was moving all the way to the left of its own accord. I stopped the car and looked... my front left tyre was DEFLATED. And thank goodness, I was with Stained and being the sweetheart he is, even though he was fasting and it was SO HOT, he stood in the sweltering heat and changed my tyre. I only had a small stepney and not a real big tyre that my car needed, SO from there we went to a petrol pump to get the tyre fixed or replaced (and even the stepney looked like it had less air in it so it was a bit scary). Luckily they could repair the tyre so I didn't need to replace it.

The stepney was really small though, don't you think?:

Thanks again :):):) I have no idea what I would've done if you weren't there to help.
The Ego
It's always been the same way, all the way since school. I always was the 2nd ranker...1st rank came to me in small snatches a few terms here and there, but I was always stuck in my 2nd rank slot in my class. Things changed a bit in the 11th and 12th grade. But let's be honest: I was one of the 2 or 3 students out of 25 who took Arts as their 11th and 12th stream out of choice. The rest were thrown in there coz they were "too dumb" to attend Commerce or Science. I had my 2 years of "glory" among 20 odd students.

I never took my time there for granted. I'll brag here (but is it bragging if I speak the truth?): I outstripped the next ranking student in the stream/class by over a good 20-30 marks and more each time. I worked my butt off and... my 12th grade final CBSE results threw me back in the same bloody rut I was in all my school life, right from 1st grade onwards: my marks were not what I expected and I came 2nd. In my school, the toppers got their name engraved on this shiny gold-plated board near the entrance of the school. The list starts from decades ago. Since I was in 5th grade and saw this board, I worked all those years towards getting my name up there for posterity. Didn't happen. And you know what? I deserved it. I guess PP sis (the girl whose name is up there instead) was lucky. Am not saying she wasn't smart... it's just that I wanted it and deserved it more. Call it ego or whatever, I don't care... I'm calling it as I see it.

Nothing much has changed since I was 17...and now, when I'm 21. There's no ranking system in college i.e. no coming first or second but there are grades nonetheless. First class, upper 2nd class, lower 2nd class, 3rd class and merely a pass. I'd received a Merit in my Diploma year and while it was no Distinction, it was good. But I wanted to pass my BSc degree with a First Class at the end of it. I worked hard. I know I did. My papers this year went badly for me however and I was hoping to salvage an Upper 2nd class from the mess. And I did. I graduated with an Upper Second Class ... but the way in which I got it was terrible. Some people don't get what I'm complaining about because at the end of it, I got the second highest grade achievable (second highest...conjures up any more sad memories dogging me since I was 5 years old???)... that's true, but not with the marks in individual subjects. There were 2 subjects among the 4 that I'm pretty shocked with and think I could've gotten better. It doesn't matter now... it's all over.

But twice...twice in my life that it really really mattered to me, I couldn't do it. What the hell that does to my self-confidence in these matters, you have no idea...
The Ego
So I'm frustrated. Why???

The stupid results are still not out! A group of us are planning to go to the British Council today, because yesterday they told two friends of mine that they will give the results today. Lo and behold, when I called their number a little while back, the person on the other line said, "We have no information about the degree results. The accounts department will inform us when they are ready." Accounts department?!?!?! ARGH!

The LSE website SAYS and I quote: "1 September 2008 - Examination results 2008: Results for Degree and Diploma for Graduate students were despatched on 29th August."
What's today's date??? 7TH OF SEPTEMBER!!! What are these people doing, making paper mountains with our results!?!?!?

Aarrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh ... I can't take this any more!!! They had better come out today or I will spew vitriolic words from my mouth!!! AT THEM!

So there.

The Ego
Everytime the topic of my education, more specifically my education abroad, comes up... I've noticed my parents' voice pitch and tone increases and changes respectively. I can tell when people's tones change, and oh, how their tones change! I feel that more than a discussion, it turns out to be whose voice is more louder, as if the decibel level of the voice makes that person right.

Anyway, today, my father delivered a classic line... I hated what he said... But to backtrack to where it started from. I called a friend who's leaving for Malaysia to say goodbye, so my mum asked where she was going and what she was doing. My father came in at this point and also listened. He asked which college she was going to and I said I didn't know. I just knew the course she was doing and hadn't asked the name of the university. So he got all perturbed about my lack of asking questions; why hadn't I asked the name of the university, why didn't I ask what the fee structure is like? Then he went on to say how I'm not street-smart and how I should be more questioning. Both my parents then referred to my 'abhorrent' quality of not asking my friends what their parents do...I don't know, I just don't ask unless it comes up in conversation! Every time I mention a new person, my parents standard questions are 'where are they from?' and after a while 'what do their parents do?' and sometimes I don't have the answer to both coz I rarely ask!!! Maybe yeah, after knowing the person for a bit, parents, siblings come up... but I don't ask specifically. Anyway, then my Mum jumped in (like duh, how can she miss an opportunity when even my father is D-bashing?) and said that I'm like a horse who wears blinkers and can only see what's ahead without looking at my surroundings. THEN my father comes up with, "Why don't you check Singapore to see if they have the course you want; it's so much safer... London is okay for guys but..."

Ooooooh I didn't realize that all the kidnappers, rapists, murderers, speed-freaks and assorted criminals had signed a pact to ignore the male section of society. I don't see why the absence of a male organ on my body means that I should sit in my own backyard for the rest of my life. Me not being a man means what? If I had a brother who was not autistic, they'd send him happily to UK while lecturing me on safety issues??? I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate these stupid double standards in society. I'm not even saying that UK is safe as such... NO PLACE is safe nowadays, that's my point; some might be relatively safer than others, that's about it. No place is 100% safe, what with the world the way it is at the moment. And before anyone says anything, I DID check a few S'pore institutes a while back; I didn't find what I wanted. Oh, btw, tell me what colleges from S'pore come to the top of your head and then tell me the colleges that immediately come to mind if I say UK or USA. International recognition... I'm aiming for it.

Don't ya just love the support I'm getting?
DISCLAIMER: All opinions expressed on this blog are the bloggers private thoughts, not meant to cause harm. Take everything with a pinch of salt.