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The Ego
Seriously, it's high time they stopped. I'm so tired of trying to explaining things to them and trying to justify what I want to do.

What do I want to do?

Get my Masters. NOT in the U.A.E.

So what happened was, I met my uncle (my Mum's brother; not a pseudo-uncle) today and actually asked him to let me know about some job opportunities for some friends of mine. After making a quip about how it looked like I planned to open a recruitment agency, he asked what about myself. I told him about the job that I took up. Then he went on to asking me what I planned for my Masters. I told him about my plans to go to the UK. He then asked why I wasn't going to the USA. I told him my two reasons: one, I'd prefer going to the REALLY GOOD colleges and they cost about say $40000 per year (or even more) and I honestly can't afford that, plus it's for 2 years in the USA and I don't want to stay away from home (read: my brother) for that long. Yeah, USA is AMAZING for media and journalism, but I can't afford it...simple as that. UK Masters means just one year and that's perfect by me. So then he starts about how he heard that some Middle Eastern, or did he say Asian, guy got knifed in SOME part of London near a kabab shop and how it's getting dangerous there and blah blah blah and that I should decide wisely and think about what I want to do.

I've decided what I want to do since I was maybe 12!!! I want an international education in a college which is ranked well in the top universities list and I want a Masters one day and I even want a PhD eventually!
I'M SORRY but I can get knifed here also. I can get kidnapped here. I can die crossing a road in Oud Metha. I can have a car accident and die. In fact, if I'd gone a few hours late for my appendix operation, I would've died ANYWAY. If something has to happen to me, it will happen. While Dubai might seem relatively safer or whatever, anything can happen to me anywhere. If I go to USA, I can be subject to knifings as well, can't I? I can be racially discriminated against. Like I said, anything can happen anywhere. And I told this later to my mother also. But they all just need a fucking excuse to keep me here.

I've wanted to leave this place for my education for over 4 years now. And now I just want to go for one year. How hard is that for them to understand? I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, I don't even drink except for wine WITH my family present at special occasions (Ppl in the know about the March 5th 2006 story... c'mon, it was just one time!!!)... I know the difference between right and wrong. And as for the safety aspect...oh please, I can get mugged going to DIAC for all they know.

I'm just so annoyed with the lot of them... you will not believe it, there is NOT ONE adult over here in Dubai who wants me to go. Only some family members in India said they think I should go, learn how to live myself and all that.

Yes, along with education, I want to learn how to live alone. Here, I have Mum, Dad, my grandparents...they're all there for me so I don't lift a finger (well I do the clothes and the dishes; I'm not that bad also :P:P:P). But to be independent, truly so, I can't do that here. Plus I don't want to live all my life with my parents, then one day just transfer to my husband's house (terrible tradition btw, that us gals need to leave our house...hmph). And I don't want to become like her. Not like her...

So yeah, I'm bugged with them all. As you can tell ... I mean, I did type a lot!!!

I'm going. Even if they all gang up against me and I don't go next year... I will go. One day, I'm telling you, I'm leaving. And if they push me up the wrong wall, I'll just up and leave forever.
The Ego
I find this annoying. It constituted my view on my long drives on SZR... and now the Metro is RUINING IT (pardon the glass reflection... It was too hot to roll my window down). For me at least, this huge poster was a given of my SZR trip. And now it's gone. I wish they could put it somewhere else more visible!!!

* * * *

I was reading a magazine (Femina) a little while back and their cover story was on a nation-wide survey of Indian women on love and sex. Anyway, one statistic (remember this quote: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."?) mentioned that 63% of women would take back their cheating partner. Apart from not being shocked by this (as my friend Jo would say, women are emotional fools), what did catch my eye was a comment on emotional affairs. Something about how she could condone a physical affair but not an emotional one. Although I've read of many men claiming that they can sleep with someone else or do something physical without any emotional attachment (maybe this is true, I don't know), for me the emotional affair seems more painful. Of course I believe that in order to do something physical with someone you need to be emotionally involved (maybe this does not apply to everyone, but that's how it is for me). But if my partner, without indulging in a physical affair, has an emotional affair with someone else, it'll cut through me like a knife. To me, it'll feel like I'm not enough; he needs someone else to fulfil his emotional requirements. A platonic friendship differs from this, in my opinion, in the sense that you will not want to tell your partner how much you're investing in this other person. Hmmm ... it would hurt if my partner would want to share his thoughts, feelings and problems with someone else and not me. In fact, it's been said that an emotional affair is possibly more of a threat to a relationship than a physical one. Problem is, men (or women also) who have emotional affairs don't see anything wrong with this simply because, well, they're not having sex are they? There's a fine thin line between platonic friendship and having an emotional affair and people sometimes can't see it. If you feel like it's easier for you to speak to your friend and not your partner and you feel like your friend understands you more than your partner because of which you stop speaking to your partner about some things and speak about them to your friend instead... look into the relationship again... they're signs you might be having an emotional affair. And seriously, it's gonna hurt like hell in the end.

* * * *
I feel like I have a baby already. As a part of getting my bro to get used to sleeping alone, we've moved his sofa-bed (he used to sleep in a room with my mother coz he used to not be able to sleep without her presence) to my room. OMG it's only been two days but he keeps me up a lot at night. He's still not used to sleeping alone I guess so he takes a lot of time to sleep and usually laughs or jumps around. Last night, at 1:45am, he woke me up coz he came up and tried to jump into my bed! Hehe... I hope he gets used to sleeping alone soon... my beauty sleep is going to the dogs!!! :D

* * * *

I took the job I mentioned a few posts back. Soooo let's see how it goes. Will post when I start working about how it's going!

* * * *

I wrote a lot, so now I'll end with this picture... hmmm...


The Ego
I'm mildly confused about something... here's the thing: Am done with my Bachelors degree (finally!) and I was thinking about working for some time before moving on to getting my Masters. I've been working part-time (read: free!) for a college based magazine for 2 years now (it's not a magazine of one college; a group of people from different colleges coming together to make a magazine).

Now, they're planning to expand the magazine and are offering me a full-time, paid job (which entails actually heading the magazine...actually like a managing editor). I've all but accepted it (considering it is something I would like to do...being at the helm of a magazine)...only problem is... location, location, location. The HQ is in Ajman... and I would have to go there only a few times a week; rest of the time would entail field work of sorts. Convincing my family about me driving to Ajman almost every morning would be a bit hard, is all. But then again, last night I actually trailed home around 9:30pm, which is an achievement in itself (I was previously not allowed to drive on my own after sunset... which might explain my "coming home at 9:30pm on my own" excitement!).

I'm not confused about what I want... I would really like to take this up... but I've never really been to Ajman before (except for the college volleyball tournaments two years ago)... what do y'all think? I've already spoken to many ex-colleagues from when I interned at a newspaper...they think I should take it up for many reasons that they outlined to me.
So yeah, that's my current position on things. Looking forward to seeing what y'all think about this.
Labels: 7 ego boost(s) | | edit post
The Ego
Looks so calm and peaceful doesn't it? It's not a great picture or anything but this is how it looked at 38000 ft. Clear blue above and at the plane's level, with a carpet of soft, white snowy looking clouds beneath.

That's how many people are, I suppose. Calm and peaceful on the surface, but you've only got to dip your head and look inside...

Pointless post, but there it is...
The Ego
So I'd gone to Pune yesterday on a road trip... met one of my very very good friends at her college campus after 6 long years, and then headed to the city for some work that my father had. He's bought some property there, and needed to check out the progress on the construction etc.
THIS is the photo above the site office. I'm sorry if anyone is offended, but it made me laugh and I began thinking of the unfortunate acronym choice. Anyhow, I asked one of the employees there what PMS stood for and he said, "Project Management Services". I said alright and clicked this picture anyway.
On another, slightly more serious note: when we'd gone to check out one of the flats, the foreman on the site was instructing the worker-women (yeah quite a few workers on construction sites are women) to clean the floor (the flat was done as such, just finishing touches were left)... so they obliged, wiping the floor with wet cloths. And then everyone walked all over the wet tiles and muddied everything up. Then the foreman again asked the lady to clean up. This time we were a bit away from the area we were cleaning, so I thought, okay, this time it'll dry up before we stick our dirty shoes into wet tiles. WILL YOU BELIEVE, the foreman HIMSELF walked all over the tiles not a few seconds after they cleaned it??? I go so bloody bugged, I put on my snootiest-I've-come-from-foreign-lands voice and told him to tell them to stop cleaning the place coz it was just giving them extra work and we don't need to see the place with the tiles polished coz we don't give a damn how dirty it is right now, coz HEY it's still a construction site, however finished it may be. He very half-heartedly told them to stop. BUT THIS IS NOT THE END. I went to the terrace to see something my father and aunt were looking at and when I came out again, the ladies were at cleaning again!!! This time, I spoke to them directly mixing up broken Marathi and Hindi the best I could. I asked one of them why she was cleaning coz we would probably walk by that area again making it dirty and it's just double work for them. She said that the foreman would get angry with them if they stopped. This time I turned around and saw the foreman watching and listening to my conversation...I glared at him...coz I mean seriously, what the fuck??? What's the point of cleaning the damn place if we're going to dirty it right then and there? They could've jolly well cleaned it after we LEFT!!! I hate people like this... just hate them. Jerks.
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