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The Ego
I feel like reminiscing ... along with the huge gamut of emotions I'm feeling right now. Annoyance. Frustration. Happiness. Excitement. Yeah ... conflicting emotions all washing over me and the person I want to talk to is 'unavailable'.

Anyway ... 2008... I feel as though I can pick out a few landmark (at least, they were monumental enough for me) moments this year and I'm not altogether sure they're good moments. Most seem to be...difficult times.

My friend left Dubai forever this year, and not on good terms, with fights/arguments/recriminations happening over borders, which was distasteful to all parties involved. I wish things hadn't panned out that way though...
Gave my final exams this year and got the results in September and I wasn't satisfied with the outcome even though it was enough to get me into good colleges for my Masters...
Took an impromptu trip to India after quite a long time and had fun (oh yay a positive thing!).
Lost my trust and faith in something important right after this trip. Same incident caused me to be extremely insecure about something, and I still am insecure, which is a terrible situation to be in.
Started working, but with so many hiccups on the way that sometimes I don't even like to think of my job as I get frustrated.

This is what I think of when I think "2008" ... Not a barrel of laughs eh?
The Ego
When I was volunteering at DIFF, I had the misfortune to meet a truly misguided soul. As I was leaving for the day, and paused to say hi to someone I knew, this perky little thing beamed at me and asked, "Which school do you go to?" (And no, I'd never even seen this chick before in my life, but she obviously saw that as no reason to stall a pointless conversation)

"School??? I've graduated from college" with my best incredulous look.

"Haaaaawwwwwww, you're done with college? You don't look so old" (Oh hun, that means so much coming from you *sarcasm dripping from all corners*)

"Well, I'm 21" I reply.

She then clutches the small masafi bottle she was holding, almost glued to it like an actor would cherish his/her Oscar statuette and says, "OMG I'm so happy to be 16! I never want to grow up... this is the BEST year of my life and I'm so sure it was the best year of yours and that you really wish you could go back!"

After realizing that she actually meant this "gushing" speech, I countered, perhaps a little rudely (but who cares?), "No, I don't. Why would I want to be 16 and worried about passing my board exams and completely dependent on my parents to drive me around places? I have my own car, I can drive myself, I don't have to worry about stupid 16 year old things... no, thank you, I'm fine where I am." My first real public and heartfelt acceptance of my age, rather than moaning about being a fuddy-duddy!!! *applause*

She still seemed convinced about the "awesomeness" of being 16. Ignorant fool.
The Ego
I made another post about the womanly B&B's, but this one is about the original B&B: The Bold and the Beautiful! Okay, before you think D has gone mad...just read on!!!

Considering B&B (and note that throughout this post, when I say B&B, I refer to the TV series and nothing else) is as old as I am, or rather, a few days younger, we've led parallel existences. When I first came to Dubai, Brooke Logan was busy moving on from Ridge to his father Eric. When I was graduating from school, she was then seen making moon-eyes at her then son-in-law Deacon and then when graduating from college, she was quite busy going back to Ridge!

Brooke's many-fabled lovers aside, why am I making this post about B&B?

Well, my grandmother and mother used to watch this serial since its inception (the year I was born) and so even as a child I was vaguely aware of the iconic(?) theme song, the only cafe/restaurant ever visited in the serials' 21 year old history, Cafe Russe ('d think in 21 years the characters would want to go somewhere else as well!!!), Stephanie's hatred for Brooke and whatever other shenanigans were going on.

As I grew older, I started actively watching it as well (yes, laugh at me... you watch Ekta Kapoor serials, how dare you judge me?!!!?? ;D), and I found that it offered me a parallel existence of pure comedy. Yes, comedy!!! I'd watch it for a few months quite regularly when I have nothing better to do, then forget about it for over a year, then go back to it again. An endless source of immoral amusement!!! :D

Comedy because ....
...they've NOT changed the style of direction in all these years... basically, 90% of the time only two characters are in a scene - unless it's a party or at Cafe Russe - who keep rotating from one end of the room to the other every 2 minutes like clockwork. Example, character A is at point 1 and character B at point 2. After two minutes, character A will walk towards point 2 and cross over to point 3 beoynd point 2, then walk back to point 1 after another 2 minutes. Then the other character will take over in this endless pacing contest always wonder whether Brooke has any morals or is her character truly so haplessly ignorant that she's been with the Forrester father, both the sons, one son's step-brother, her daughter's husband and ... erm ... I'm not sure :S
...Sally Spectra (RIP the actress) was a treat to watch with her funny clothes, wig-like hair and atrocious makeup
...each and every character looked very convinced at each point in time they had a new dalliance that "THIS" time it was eternal love ... only to fall for their sons' friends' sister's boyfriend instead grandmother always says at the end of a particularly 'riveting' episode (and I loosely translate it to English), "That Brooke...such a scheming fox!" and then shakes her head!

Not quality viewing...but hey, it's been in existence for 21 years...that's gotta count for something!
The Ego
People who've been reading my blog for a bit would know I can be somewhat of a child at times. Links to these posts might explain a bit more: 1, 2, 3 and 4!!! These links will also explain my madness with some Happy Meals!!!

Till I buy another Happy Meal ... adios!
Labels: 4 ego boost(s) | | edit post
The Ego
I saw Danny Glover today!!! Unfortunately I couldn't take a picture because I was in a largely non-volunteer zone; everyone else were publicists, journalists and staff members so it wasn't appropriate for me to start behaving like a lunatic stalker and take pics! But he sounded pretty cool and this was how I started today's DIFF-ing!!!

Then there was the press conference for Tera Kya Hoga Johnny, starring Neil Nitin Mukesh, Soha Ali Khan, Shahana Goswami, Kay Kay Menon among others. Showed a trailer of the film which is only due to release in March or April 2009!!! Neil Nitin Mukesh, Sudhir Mishra and a producer of the film attended the conference. They called for more press kits to be given up on the stage, so I ran up with what they wanted, and I caught NNM's eye when I was up on stage, smiled and he smiled back! :D And then, after the conference was over, he was obliging people with pictures and autographs so I took a picture with him... and when we took the picture, his hand was ON my back! Aaaahhhh... Jo said she hated me and my volunteer job when I told her. She kept saying, "I hate you, I hate you" I love you too Jo!!! :D

Oh, obnoxious people story!!! Now, to enter the DIFF HQ, you need to have your volunteer vest, your badge, and if you're not a volunteer you need to have your badge only. So one guy walked in without his badge and when the security guard stopped him and asked for his badge...well... here's how it went:
Guard: Sir, you cannot enter this area without a badge.
Obnoxious asshole: Yes, I can
Guard: Sir, I cannot let you enter this room without any official DIFF ID.
Obnoxious asshole: What the hell is this? Do you know who I am? I am the CHIEF EDITOR of a magazine and you dare stop me!
Guard (who very commendably kept his cool): Sir, I am part of the security team and we cannot let anyone without ID enter this area. You will need to leave until you get your ID.
Obnoxious asshole: No I will sit here...and I will not show you my dare ask me for a badge???
*Guard radios for someone*
*Another man arrives*
Man: What's going on?
*The guard explains the situation to him*
Man (to the asshole): Excuse me, you don't have a badge? We are under orders not to let anyone in here without official ID.
Obnoxious asshole: Oh sir, I'm so sorry, but you see, this is my situation...*explains out of earshot*...what can I do now?

Reason for the change in behaviour? The new man who arrived after being radioed was an Arab and the guard was a 'measly' Indian. After the other man arrived, they both started conversing in Arabic and I had to leave so not sure what happened after that.
The Ego
This day was quite interesting because two producers of Terminator 4: Salvation were there for interviews with the press. I was lucky enough to be assisting the publicist for these so got to listen in to the interviews as well. One of them actually reminded me of a guy from college! Anyway, so the movie will be out May 2009 and Christian Bale is starring in the movie as John Connor. No information was given by the producers about Arnie Schwarzzenegger's involvement with this... Ummm, what else? They claimed that they were trying to make the movie be more about the story rather than going overboard with special effects, and were thankfully honest enough to say that people might find loopholes with timelines and stuff, but that's just how it goes.
Other than that, a pretty uneventful day.

AHAAAAA... the day for the press conference of Delhi 6. The newest offering by Rakesh 'RDB' Mehra, who was present at the conference as well as Abhishek Bachchan and Sonam Kapoor, the lead pair. As a volunteer I couldn't really go up ahead in front of the stage, but Joseph, a cameraman from City7 TV was sweet enough to offer to take my camera and get pics from right in front. Which he did! So now I have great close-ups of the three of them! Also, they aired two promos of the movie, and all the video cameras in the room were asked to switch off during said promos coz they aren't on air yet. The promos seemed interesting, let's see how the movie really shapes up! What was really annoying though, was that AB Jr kept wearing his sunglasses and cap even inside the windowless press conference room!!!!!!!!!!!
Also went for the movie Inkheart, with Brendan Fraser and Eliza Hope Bennett making an appearance after the movie. He was really funny btw ... kept everyone in splits most of the time.

Quite an interesting day, Kiran Bedi was someone I was with for quite some time on this day. A documentary on her life, Yes Madam Sir, is screening at DIFF this year, so she and the producer-director were there to promote it. I was lucky enough to get a photograph with this amazing woman. She was so simple, down-to-earth and modest... it was amazing! She talked with intelligence and wit oozing from every pore and was so crisp, so precise and so COOL in her tracks and sneakers!!!

I must mention what a big COW a certain presenter from a particular TV channel is. Why they pay her money when she can't even speak English properly and dresses badly, I do not know. Oh yeah, the dressing sense part must rake in high viewership...probably makes them deaf to her terrible intonations and hilariously terribly way of speaking. Anyway, she'd come to interview the inimitable Kiran Bedi dressed in some black concoction that looked like it had been fused onto her body with hair sprayed so much that even if I threw a shoe at her head, the shoe would get damaged before her hair would move a whisker and face stuffed with all the pancake in the world. Anyhoo ... I managed to find many other random people who suddenly confided in me what an idiot she was. I was standing with a journalist who had the next interview with Ms Bedi, and I told him it would take another 5-10 minutes depending on how much time it would take for the tv interview, and he grinned and said, "Stars!" I smirked and said, "You mean the one in front of the mic or the one holding it? Coz the one holding it is annoying!" and he said, "Yeah, she gives herself more starry airs than anyone else over here!" and we bonded over mutual disdain of that pancaked cow.

I managed to go for the screening of Firaaq as well. It was a brilliant movie, with some poignant moments. One which I still remember very well... A man (I forgot his name damnit!) says (and I'm translating it to English): "Doesn't it bother you that Muslims are being killed?" and Naseeruddin Shah's character (also a Muslim in the movie btw) replies: "It bothers me that human beings are killing human beings." Brilliant portryal of a Gujarati housewife by Deepti Naval ... just BRILLIANT! Also good performances by Sanjay Suri and Tisca Chopra with their problems after the riots being in an inter-religious marriage. The movie was pretty good for first time director in Nandita Das but the performances by the actors in this movie were very very very good. Jo and I got a picture with Sanjay Suri...WITH MY EYES CLOSED!!!!!!! One of the people from the press office, upon me telling him of my sad eyes-closed story, said that well, at least it'd look like you're smiling with eyes closed in ecstasy of being next to him... hehe...
Also managed to speak to Shahana Goswami (of Rock On fame) who also essayed a powerful performance in the film. She seemed really sweet and very encouraging in general.

More Firaaq!!! The trio also came to the Volunteer Lounge today ... and we got group shots... Managed to speak to Nandita Das, took a pic with her; upon my asking her, she said that she had handpicked the actors for the movie herself. Spoke to Sanjay Suri again and a picture with Shahana Goswami was also taken. She, btw, remembered me from yesterday and spoke to me for a minute or so.
Mammooty was also in the press conference rooms today but I unfortunately had to leave just then otherwise I would've gone in for that as well.
I caught a glimpse of perhaps one among the most horrendous shoes in the history of horrendous shoes. They were a pair of heels, with the stiletto part bright fluroscent pink and the remaining part parrot green. Worn with a black pencil skirt and a crisp white shirt. Why??? Ah, the sheer horror!

Anyway ... more updates as the days roll by!
The Ego
She yawns, opens her eyes and *pop* his face blurs in front of her. She shakes her head, unbelieving... he can't be right there; what would he be doing in her room so early in the morning? Shaking her head, his face disappears...she rubs her eyes and looks around the room blearily. Her eyes fall on the clock. Only 5 more hours before she meets him. No wonder she's already thinking about him! Jumping out of bed, she finishes her morning rituals, and has a refreshing hot bath. And then...she needs to groom herself!

"Shall I wear this? No, no...maybe he will like the other one better. But look, that third one! That's the one he likes best!"

"Ummm...which perfume? Oh I'm so silly, he likes that one so question about it!"

"Oh god, where's my kaajal... he does say my eyes look beautiful when their lids are smudged with kohl"

"Is my camera ready? I love taking pictures when we're together"

And at last, she's ready...she collects her handbag, checks to see if all the essential items - phone, wallet, keys, camera(!) etc - are in it, wears a comfy pair of sandals, and walks out the door.

Her phone rings.

"I can't meet you today"
The Ego
Righto...without wasting time, on to day 2.

Definitely more eventful than the first day... where I'm situated never really stops buzzing even if my table has nothing specifically for me to do. I got to visit Al Qasr today twice. And on my second trip, I was transported to a villa on the abra and on the return trip, by a buggy. Okay so the Al Qasr area makes Emirates Hills look like Karama or something... seriously!!!!!!!! The villas are so understatedly opulent with an old-world look given to them with open courtyards and pools scattered here and there... and the BEACH!!! The beach was beautiful...the sands from afar looked so virginal's what all Dubai beaches used to look like, which is what I told my colleague who'd come to Dubai for the first time. I honestly don't know how much a villa would cost to stay in, but I'm damn sure it'd be a whopping amount. I also visited the non-villa part of Al Qasr...this was outrageously opulent! I just let my mouth stay closed while internally letting it drop...ah well...

One of my jobs today was to find out whether a well-known Hollywood actor's plane had left from it's departure airport and were all the members of the flight accounted for before take-off... hehe...

People I've met there remind me of people from films or tv shows. For example, there is one guy who from the bat reminded me of Karan Johar hands down. The way he talks, the way he's SO KJ!!! Then there's the gay boyfriend (Scotty) of the gay brother from the TV show Brothers and Sisters. No, he's not guy there is DITTO Scotty...again, way he talks mostly. I have more, but none that come to mind right now.

Haven't seen any movies planning to go in the next few days for a limited few.
The Ego
I'm volunteering for DIFF again this year, although not in the same position as I did last year.

Anyway, I managed to attend the press conference thrown by Oliver Stone and Jeffery Wright for their movie "W." ... and it was pretty cool! Oliver Stone was quite amusing, saying all sorts of hilariously irreverent things about George W. Bush Jr. One journalist asked him if Bush Jr co-operated with the making of the movie in any way. Oliver Stone - "Are you crazy? Are you nuts? Are you MAD?" in a very amused way and proceeded to tell the crowd how the movie strips him down and shows him to be his true self - arrogant! line I remember from the hour long conference: "People are going to miss the fact that the President couldn't speak English...that's all!!!" Apparently, the movie wasn't even filmed as such in the USA, that's how terrible the support he got from the people over there. It went on to touch on topics like the new President-elect Obama and even the terror attacks in Bombay. He seemed like a terribly intelligent and witty man and that itself has aroused my interest in the film.

Other than that... it's as if DIFF grounds is insulated from the rest of Dubai. Some women (not all) are dressed...well... like they're on a beach or something!!! The number of itsy-bitsy hotpants I saw there are gazillion!!! And I learned that Ugg boots are in fashion now!!! Go buy NOW!!! :P

OH MY GOD...CAMERAS GALORE! Staind would drool! Huge fat enormous monsters that are cameras roamed the place... quite a few of them had TWO monsters; one slung on each shoulder. Wonder how their shoulders don't hurt. I mean, Staind's camera is heavy as it is and these were bigger!!!

End of day #1...

NOTE: Even if you are the last dregs of your senses...even if your throat is PARCHED... DO NOT... and I repeat...DO NOT ever drink any coffee from Cinnabon. EVER. EVER. EVER.
The Ego
A huge fear I have: that people are going to forget this (as usual) and move on with their lives.

I'm not saying that life can't go on. It HAS to. But it needs to move on with a difference. The government, the security forces of India HAVE to see that there cannot be the "chalta hai" attitude anymore. Abhi 'chalta hai' nahi chalega... the more we, the people, just resignedly accept what's happening, change will NOT come.

And what MORE does our intelligence want? They had information that attacks would come from coastal shores, that there is a possibility of attacks on the Taj on the Trident and Oberoi; even the fishermen in the area alerted the authorities... like my uncle said in disbelief, "What else do they want? The time that the attack will take place?"

Staind was saying today that many people die many other places, then why so much attention to this only...everything deserves due attention, doesn't it? That's true... But for me personally, I mentioned it before, this one hit close to home. To people who lived in Dubai all their life, it's like random people coming in and desecrating the Abra station or Al Ghurair or something. Basically, a part of your life, your city, that has always been almost iconic... has been pillaged. And broadly speaking, I think it's the ease with which people just walked onto our shores and brazenly entered beloved landmarks and just started killing people is shocking. To be honest (and I think it's sad that this had to happen for me to realize it), no matter how uncomfortable I am when I'm in Bombay for too long (I'm too used to Dubai to be comfortable there, sorry everyone!) is my city. It's where I was born. It's where my family is based... and no matter where I live all my life... I am a Bombayite (I can't bring myself to say Mumbaikar... aaaaahhhh!) even though I'm happy and proud to be a Dubaian as well (or whatever is the right term for this).

Another shocking thing that's happening, that's disgusting me, is the blatant aggression showed by some people who spout rot like 'bomb Pakistan' or whatever else. Excuse me? How is that supposed to help? "An eye for an eye will turn the world blind", remember? Besides, it has not been proved and I highly doubt that this would ever be the case, that the Pakistani govt has backed this massacre. I have so many Pakistani friends, do they want to kill me? Do I want to kill them? NO. For me, I can't even tell who is Pakistani and who is Indian (except at cricket matches!!!!!!!!!!!) because at the end of it, we all come from the same roots. If the terrorists happened to be Pakistani, then accept that and realize that a handful of terrorists who HAPPEN to be from a certain nationality or religion does NOT mean everyone from those categories are the same. Yes, there are dangerous groups, rebels, in EVERY country, even in India. The need is to root THEM out, not act like hormone-crazed vigilantes and try to wipe everyone off the face of this earth. I wish some people would use their common sense and not strike back blindly.

Another thing I've said before and I feel important to reiterate again: no religion, not one, condones taking of innocent lives. No religion allows for this and if any terrorist, no matter what belief system they follow, does something so dastardly believing they are doing this for their religion...well their God will not forgive them and if Hell exists, that is where they will go. All these people do is, in a way, condemn those belonging to the same category to a life of suspicious looks and distrust. The problem is the masses can be so petty so as to generalize: one bad egg from this batch, then all the eggs from that farm are bad. NO NO NO, A THOUSAND TIMES NO.

So is this India's version of 9/11? Yes, and I'll tell you why. When the towers in USA were attacked in 2001, terrorists used American planes to bomb an American structure, a taken-for-granted and integral part of their lives, slipped through their security system with ease and wrecked terror through that land. Here, terrorists used Indian coastlines, shirked away the security(?) to attack our heritage, again with ease.

An update on those children I mentioned in the last post: they're going through counselling, and their extended family is taking care of them now. Also, their school is being supportive and not pressurizing them to give their upcoming exams right now.
And the child I mentioned who passed away...he was 12, on the 6th floor of the Taj...the one that was completely gutted. He was stuck in a room and couldn't get out. Draw your own conclusions on how he died.

Sorry for the long post...been wanting to write all this for days.
The Ego
My cousin's (whom I shall call Anan henceforth) friends parents were not in the Taj as my last post mentioned, they were in the Oberoi.

And they're dead.

The news came over to their house about an hour back. This senseless killing has left an innocent 13 year old and her sibling orphans. Just called Bombay to speak to my aunt, my Fui ... they're all with the children right now, who are devastated.

What else can I say? What can anyone say about something like this?
The Ego
A personal update on this... not a good one... but...

My 13 year old cousin, who has the voice of an angel, has been affected by the attacks in more ways than one. Her classmate was shot dead yesterday at the Taj Hotel. And her best friend's parents are still stuck inside the Taj. No one has been able to get in touch with them in the last 38-39 hours since the attacks started. As of now, they're just hoping that they are alive.
The Ego
Woke up this morning... Mum told me, "There were blasts in Bombay last night". I shrugged it off in my just-woke-up-so-am-still-groggy state, thinking, oh well, they always happen don't they...

Then I saw the news for myself. Pictures. Accounts. The places mentioned that were attacked last night...all places I frequent when I'm in Bombay. That scared me. Especially the Taj Hotel. When I'd gone to Bombay this time in July-August...I had gone to the Taj specifically for the Sea View Lounge because it's amongst the best (and therefore very expensive :P) cafe style food I've ever had. Since I was a child, I would go there very often. When my aunt was going out with my uncle (before they were married ie), he'd take her to that Lounge and I'd tag along as well... good memories.

Then, I see these pictures.

That is not how I want to remember Bombay. Not how I want to remember the Taj and the Oberoi or Colaba.

This is the road that the Taj is situated on... a busy road... always been busy...

This is how I remember the view from inside the Taj... Gateway of India... the sea... I used to love just gazing out from the Lounge windows while hogging on the super food...
Inside, the Taj was beautiful as well.

Senseless isn't it? Now people will bandy around the words "Hindu militant attacks" or "Islamic fundamentalist blasts" ... who gives a f***ing shit? At the end of it, to me, it doesn't matter whether a freaking Scientologist did this... the point is, someone did. People always do stupid things like this. And more often than not, the causes have been labelled as being religion-based. I don't know any religion that encourages violence. So the idiots who harm others like this and proudly claim their religion and say they did it for their religion no less... are the most foul people ever. They first of all kill people, take another person's life...and then tarnish the name of whatever religion they belong to.

This one hit close to home. It made me remember that if they'd done this in the first week of August...I could've been inside the Taj and become one of the statistics in the news.
It could've been me. Could've been anyone from my family... Bombay, especially South Bombay is full of them...


Note: if anyone is wondering why I keep typing 'Bombay' instead of 'Mumbai' ... well, I've never called it 'Mumbai' even after they officially changed it ... not sure why... just never have.
The Ego
... if it'll work out.

Basically, my graduation is in March. In UK. I have to send the confirmation letter to the university by mid-January, so today I started bugging my parents about it again, reminding them that they need to tell me how many tickets to ask for and what's going on etcetera etcetera.

My father (who was furiously doing his yoga - yes that's an oxymoron I know; how can anyone furiously do yoga when it's supposed to be calming and all that - took a few deep breaths before paying any heed to me) said that he's not coming (big surprise; he's not even coming for my brother's concert which is in 10 days in Dubai itself...coming to UK, in retrospect, seemed a far stretch) so I'll have go on my own. I stared at him dumbstruck for a bit, wondering what he was on about. My Mum put in her two cents saying that even if she comes along with my brother, they wouldn't be able to attend the ceremony. Which I agreed with, unless we wanted the grave ceremony interrupted by unintelligible noises in the middle and possibly followed by a free-show of womanly flesh (which btw happened to me 2 days ago; couldn't control him and in one of his tantrum-y states, he raised my shirt and basically showed everything I'd rather keep between myself and my partner to the shoppers around the shop we were in).

So it's highly possible even my mother and brother would not even come to UK. Who's left? Me apparently. So my father went on about how if I wanted to go on my own, I'd have to fund myself and he would not pay a penny. Which is all very well, but although technically I am earning money...for god's sake, the peanuts that I get right now is hard to part with!

I checked the prices of tickets...going and coming would cost me almost 80% of my one month's salary and I'm not even including living expenses/rent over there for say, a week.

I even stared at my seemingly innocent parents and point-blank asked them if this was one of their long-standing scams where they say "Yes, yes go ahead and do this" and when it's AT THE POINT of committing with finality to something, they say "Oh God no, how can you do this?". They, again very innocently, said it was nothing of the sort and my father then launched into his "What-to-do-in-UK-and-to-be-back-in-my-lodgings-by-6pm" speech. I told him to save it for when I actually go.

I'm being sceptical. Been disappointed by them too many times before. But in any case I'll go ahead with the planning.
Worst case scenario: I'm disappointed. Again. Big surprise.
Middle case scenario: My Mum and bro come with me and I attend the graduation alone (but this is ambiguous ground; terms of who will pay in this situation has not been decided upon).
Best case scenario: I'll have a week or slightly less on my own and on my own terms. Big whoop!!!
The Ego
Okay ... so if readers of this blog don't know by now... I LOVE COFFEE! Even in the months that I did not get to have any (was on homeopathic meds, but went off them after I realized that I cannot be apart from my!) I would just smell coffee beans to get happy and move on in life.
I do frequent coffee shops quite a bit, but mostly with one particular friend. If we ever meet outside our homes, you will most definitely find us in a coffee shop if not a cinema theatre.

And now? It looks like I won't have my coffee buddy till the end of December. If I do manage to get a coffee/movie meet, I think I'll be lucky.

It may sound like I'm being whiny or something...but I don't mean to. I'm just truly going to miss her and our coffee meets a lot. I'm hoping this is just me being pessimistic (oh goodness this sounds like Stained, doesn't it?) and that I'm over-reacting and that I will get to meet her like we used to... but ... anyway, let's see how it goes, shall we?
The Ego
Why does MOE bother putting up signs on the doors leading to the mall, saying "Please wear respectable clothing. For example, shoulders and knees should be covered" when inside I could see more than 50% of male and females put together wearing shorts, halters, spaghettis and the like, with no one saying anything about it? Sign is just for show or wot?

To be honest, I really don't care if people wear shorts or halters or not. It's their personal choice, right? But if they're gonna make a rule like that, then why aren't they enforcing it? They're better off not putting up such signs and letting things go on as they are, rather than putting up signs that no one bothers following anyway simply because there are no repercussions even if they don't. Besides, what's wrong with showing shoulders??? Or even knees!?!?

I wish they'd just take that sign down. They already had one before with a mixed group of rules about PDAs and stuff like that, which included guidelines to dressing. I'm confused as to why they made a separate one specifically instructing people (who will never listen) to cover their joints... weird.
The Ego
It takes all kinds of people to inhabit this world... smorgasbord of them really... A look at few encounters with this mixture...

- Okay, look ... you know when the windshield of your car is dirty or dusty and you switch on the wipers and the water to clean it up a bit to increase your visibility? do NOT do this while you are driving on the road...get it??? All it serves is to flick the dirty water to the car behind you... which happens to be MINE.

- I was driving in Deira one day near the J.W. Marriott, just on the internal road next to the Muraqqabat police station... one car suddenly turned onto the road from the Marriott parking lane without looking, with no indicator and cut in front of me to take the U-turn between Marriott and Warba Centre... I obviously honked as I had to brake and he cut in front of me with no indication etc... know what the moron did? While taking the U-turn, he rolled his window down, stuck his tongue out at me and sped off. Bloody a*****e.

- About 2 days back, I was near Ghurair Centre between 9am and 10am doing nothing but waiting for someone... I'd put my hazards on and was double parked since there was no parking spot available. I couldn't even go into the mall parking since they wouldn't let me in before 10am. Anyways, a parking spot opened up and before I could see it, one old pathan caught my eye and he pointed it out to me. I nodded and eased into the empty slot. Since I wasn't getting out, I didn't get out of the car to get a ticket. This man went and stood by the parking meter and alternated between staring at me and his wallet and the meter for about 5 minutes... finally when he realized I wasn't getting out the car, he walked away. What do you think he wanted?

- Today had the unfortunate privilege of meeting lukhas. Basically useless bums. Streetside goon types. Anyway, this was for a focus group for a marketing company yeah, so they had the members of said focus group introducing themselves and mentioning their hobbies. All 3 lukhas (who were one hour late mind you) mentioned something about smoking sheesha and clubbing. And only one was above 19 years. Sadakchhaap lukhas I tell you with nothing better to do in life except bum their way on.

- This isn't a person ... but I saw a rooster... running about wild and cock-a-doodle-doo-ing away that morning I was near Ghurair. It was walking about in the sandy lot behind Ghurair. I don't know... never seen a rooster walking about free like that before in Dubai.

- There is a particular person who insists on jumbling all the vowels in my name and giving me an entirely new name with a not so nice meaning even after reminding that person what my real and proper name is, with enunciations et al. How hard is it to remember my name?!?!!?

It really takes all kinds to inhabit this world... ah well ... c'est la vie...
The Ego
Warning: Long post ahead

Today I had to officially prove that I know how to speak English. I find it odd that even though my Bachelors degree is from a UK university and my schooling all my life has been conducted in English, some universities insist that since "technically" my first language is NOT English (Hello, my first words were in fact, all my words are in English... so unfair!) I need to give a test of English proficiency. Since I plan to apply to UK universities for my PG, I figured I'd give my IELTS.

Today was the day the 20 years and few months (I started speaking when I was about 9 months old... I never stopped since :P) of my language skills would be judged and measured. Let me get the trivial matter of the post outta the way: the test was easy peasy pumpkin pie. Listening test was very simple; Reading section lasts for one hour but I finished in 30 mins and then re-read all the passages 3-4 times more and checked my answers 5-6 times more and then looked at the air vents with great interest;, Writing was like they were handing me the test on a platter... the longer essay wanted me to agree or disagree with the statement that male leaders lead their societies into violence but if there were more female leaders there might be peace in the world... I rocked female butt babyyy!!! I couldn't remember the exact quote but I wrote a variation of this one to end my essay: "When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking." Hehe... and the Speaking test was fine...I talked!!!

Now on to more important matters: the people there.
It was a SMORGASBORD of people from all nationalities. And there were these people that caught my eye and attention for various reasons...not all of them good!

#1 ... Ms and Mr Arab
We (i.e. the candidates) were standing in a queue for registration before the test when this Arab man came with a woman trailing behind him. He spoke in Arabic and started waving his hand around etc and the attendants said ok ok and stuffed the woman in the middle of the queue coz I mean, who gives a damn that other people are standing in line, right?

#2... Ms Thriller 1983
Remember the song 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson? The whole zombie dance routine and everything? One of my favourite MJ songs btw... anyway, this girl looked like she'd jumped right out of the Thriller music video... her clothes sure matched anyway. She had a funny beret, checkered sneakers, a ratty looking jean jacket and leggings, with her hair dyed peroxide blonde mixed with ratty grey. She honestly reminded me of the zombies in that video and I couldn't stop staring at her manly looking face in that 1980s ensemble.

#3... Mr and Mr Clothes Change
Two boys came in the morning, each wearing a particular shirt, and in the evening, not 3 hours later, I spotted them registering for the Speaking part of the test wearing different clothes. Eh, fashion conscious much?

#4... Mr Calculator-cum-Hummer
In the Writing section of the test, we have 2 essays to write, one 150 word essay describing a graph showed to us, and one 250 word essay based on whatever topic they give us and we have to write down coherent opinions. In the graph essay, the examiners expect us to say stuff like 'the %age of morons increased twice as much between the years 2007 and 2008' based on the figures shown in the graph. Simple figures like 500, 1000 etc, basically simple multiples. This man sitting right next to me during the test, asks if he can have a calculator to calculate the increase/decrease in the figures. English test you pipsqueak. ENGLISH.
Same fellow insisted on reading the reading passages out audibly albeit not so loud that the rest of the room could hear him. Unfortunate souls such as myself seated near him were subject to to his rendition of the passage and resulting hems and haws. All of course, until I complained. Then he shut up.
SAME fellow caught up with me later before the speaking test. He asked me, "How was your test?" I said it was fine. Then he asked, "Did you finish the reading section?" I looked confused and said, yes of course. He looked very contrite and said he got confused and couldn't answer everything. I said okay... :|

#5... Mr Dandruff
No need to explain. This one was sitting in front of me and I quickly moved my passport out of harms way ...

#6... Everyone
I walked into the test centre and... I felt I'd gone to the wrong place. Why? Almost everyone had an IELTS practice book in front of them, or a dictionary or SOMETHING IELTS related. I felt like I hadn't done anything substantial in comparison. Ah well ... I met one nice Iranian man later who was very soft-spoken and was talking to me while we were waiting for our turn on the speaking test. He had given the test before and gotten a 5 and he needed a 6 for his migration to some place. I hope he manages it ... he wasn't very sure of how to convey what he wanted to say though.

#7... Ms Grunge
Queen of grunge look... sneakers, jeans, legging style hand sleeves with a jacket, and hair pinned up messily and red glasses... and she carried it off amazingly well!!!

#8... Ms Dressed Up
This includes so many of them. You'd think they were going bar hopping instead of giving a language test. How they managed in those stilettoes I don't know...bless their heels.
One of them, not a test taker, but a nice invigilator was wearing a sun-yellow loose top and had matching YELLOW shoes with black stilletoes ... I was in shock.

#9... Mr Bling
He wasn't very obvious... he had tiny shiny round bling spots of silver on his white shirt, all over the back and even on the front, with the left breast-pocket having the words "North Pole" resplendent with a Fir tree embroidered on it. Marvellous actually wear that in public. Give the man a bravery award someone.

Ah well ... that's about it for now... Results in 2 weeks... should be alright :)
The Ego

Now I'm in a Pon and Zi mood... hmph...

Note: View more "Pon and Zi" ...
The Ego
Okay so I had a bit of a laughing fit a while back. And then it went into contemplation of the literal dregs that we supposedly have to pick Dubai's "eligible" bachelors and bachelorettes from.
Basically, my Mum usually buys Ahlan Masala very regularly. This issue claimed it had a list of Dubai's most eligible people.

First off, I was mildly amused when I saw that I actually knew one of them. Then when I actually went through what Ahlan Masala claimed were Dubai's finest single people... I laughed.
One very ambitious girl said that her dream job was to cook aloo parathas for her future husband. Wah wah! I can only hope that she was being sarcastic. If she wasn't, my goodness, someone...lap her up quick! Before she realizes her designer clothes and those manicured nails won't last long what with her making all those aloo parathas. Why doesn't she just open a dhaaba and become an aloo paratha specialist? Shame restricting all that aloo to one man who will eventually become very fat with desi ghee.
Another bright young man was at least honest enough to admit the truth when asked what were the first 3 things he noticed in a girl. He said that the first two things were what every guy notices (B's and B's I suppose) and then he went on to say the 3rd thing would be shoes. Arre wah... one of the eligible men on this list is one who will look at women's B&B's all the time, what's the point of getting together with a self-confessed pervert? Although, he was being honest... hmmm...
Aloo paratha girl also has amazing brains in addition to her cooking skills: she believes plastic surgery can increase her height. Zabardast! Sign me up, fast!!! What, do they implant silicone on my feet or graft skin onto my feet/head or perhaps botox my head to swell up so much it makes me taller by a few inches?
Common items on almost everyone's list for 'where would you find them on a Thursday night?' included names of various clubs, shisha joints and tres posh hangouts. I think only one sane person said he would probably be swimming or near the sea or whatever. Sane because it was a deviation from the mundane "I'm-doing-shisha-or-drinking-or-clubbing" routine. If anyone would've asked me, I would've just said, eh sitting at home with my family unless there's a reason for me to go out! Brainless mindless pointless partying confuses me. I love, adore, anticipate meeting up with my friends and spending time with them...which doesn't necessarily need to include foul smoke and loud music. Hey, I'm all for partying dancing, just not every Thursday.
Everyone opted for choosing world peace over a Ferrari except for a few...Such saints we have amongst us. One 18 yr old I think said he already had a Ferrari and that's why he would choose world peace. I just thought 'spoilt brat' as soon as I read that...hehehe. Oh and every other "eligible" wanted to donate money to charity, open schools for underprivileged children, open orphanages... Eh? If y'all finish doing all these noble acts, call me after that; y'all can sponsor my education. I only need about AED150,000 for an education in UK, but if you can spring AED300,000 please do so, I can apply to Columbia instead.

You know what? I think they screen out people who don't go club hopping, who don't do sheesha, who don't have expensive cars... seriously!!!

Dubai's most eligible? You've got to be kidding me...

PS - Okay, a few of them seemed alright. Kind of. Not much. Maybe a little. Okay maybe 2-3 of them. Or maybe just one. Ah well...
The Ego
Last piece of a strawberry cheesecake!!! The double shot espresso I had yesterday with this (Jo would know how I started laughing like a maniac after that; think I was high on caffeine or something) kept me up for a major part of last night...

* * * *

A story I saw this morning in Times of India...

* * * *

Nothing else going on as such...
The Ego

I'd won two tickets for this movie and went to see it Sunday night (that's not me holding the tickets btw). What's so special about it??? More than the actual movie itself... it was coming home past 11pm on my one dropping me, my parents didn't pick me up and all the usual stuff that accompanies me being out of the house at that time. I drove to the cinema, and drove back. At night. Although my Mum did make my Dad stay up till 11:20pm (which is when I got home), yes she forced him to; he normally sleeps at 10-ish... and as soon as I walked in, he literally ran to bed!!!

Has ANYONE else been having problems with Etisalat? Thing is, in the middle of phone calls, even when you're in an area with full mobile coverage, suddenly the call gets cut and it shows on the phone that there's no signal in the area. And it's not just happened to me... my Mum, Staind... I make calls and would like them to continue until I want to cut them you know... in the middle of IMPORTANT phone calls, the damn signal goes off completely!!! And if anyone tried to call me a few seconds after the call gets cut, they hear the voice saying my cell is switched off when it's most certainly not! What's going on???

Anyways ... Eid Mubarak everyone :)
The Ego
Just felt like saying I miss going to college (No I don't miss the actual college that I went way in hell) ... am talking about the other things...
I miss having somewhere to go every morning.
I miss being able to see some of my most favourite people almost everyday.
I miss being able to go to the dead beach or the Burj Al Arab beach now and then and take wacky pictures.
I miss sharing lunch or snacks with my friends at different places.
I miss the impromptu things me and my friends would do.
I miss driving up to KV and seeing friend's cars already parked there.
I miss the random drives I would go on with friends.
I miss you.

Guess another thing that contributes to this whole mood is that I live on one end of Dubai while all the people I want to meet on a regular basis live on the other end. I had college as an excuse to see them regularly. And now with the extra Salik tollgates, the distance seems more. Even though in the last year of college...well, you could say the number of people I used to spend time with reduced... the ones who stayed with me till the end... it's them I miss. Not sycophants from before...maybe they were always the same and I didn't see it. Doesn't matter now...hmmm...

In a nostalgic mood basically ...
The Ego
Soooo ... I was in Deira yesterday when I noticed that I had ... a flat!!!

Luckily I wasn't driving at the time; I actually pulled my car out of a parking lot when I felt the car was moving funny with a lot of noise plus my steering was moving all the way to the left of its own accord. I stopped the car and looked... my front left tyre was DEFLATED. And thank goodness, I was with Stained and being the sweetheart he is, even though he was fasting and it was SO HOT, he stood in the sweltering heat and changed my tyre. I only had a small stepney and not a real big tyre that my car needed, SO from there we went to a petrol pump to get the tyre fixed or replaced (and even the stepney looked like it had less air in it so it was a bit scary). Luckily they could repair the tyre so I didn't need to replace it.

The stepney was really small though, don't you think?:

Thanks again :):):) I have no idea what I would've done if you weren't there to help.
The Ego
It's always been the same way, all the way since school. I always was the 2nd ranker...1st rank came to me in small snatches a few terms here and there, but I was always stuck in my 2nd rank slot in my class. Things changed a bit in the 11th and 12th grade. But let's be honest: I was one of the 2 or 3 students out of 25 who took Arts as their 11th and 12th stream out of choice. The rest were thrown in there coz they were "too dumb" to attend Commerce or Science. I had my 2 years of "glory" among 20 odd students.

I never took my time there for granted. I'll brag here (but is it bragging if I speak the truth?): I outstripped the next ranking student in the stream/class by over a good 20-30 marks and more each time. I worked my butt off and... my 12th grade final CBSE results threw me back in the same bloody rut I was in all my school life, right from 1st grade onwards: my marks were not what I expected and I came 2nd. In my school, the toppers got their name engraved on this shiny gold-plated board near the entrance of the school. The list starts from decades ago. Since I was in 5th grade and saw this board, I worked all those years towards getting my name up there for posterity. Didn't happen. And you know what? I deserved it. I guess PP sis (the girl whose name is up there instead) was lucky. Am not saying she wasn't smart... it's just that I wanted it and deserved it more. Call it ego or whatever, I don't care... I'm calling it as I see it.

Nothing much has changed since I was 17...and now, when I'm 21. There's no ranking system in college i.e. no coming first or second but there are grades nonetheless. First class, upper 2nd class, lower 2nd class, 3rd class and merely a pass. I'd received a Merit in my Diploma year and while it was no Distinction, it was good. But I wanted to pass my BSc degree with a First Class at the end of it. I worked hard. I know I did. My papers this year went badly for me however and I was hoping to salvage an Upper 2nd class from the mess. And I did. I graduated with an Upper Second Class ... but the way in which I got it was terrible. Some people don't get what I'm complaining about because at the end of it, I got the second highest grade achievable (second highest...conjures up any more sad memories dogging me since I was 5 years old???)... that's true, but not with the marks in individual subjects. There were 2 subjects among the 4 that I'm pretty shocked with and think I could've gotten better. It doesn't matter now... it's all over.

But twice...twice in my life that it really really mattered to me, I couldn't do it. What the hell that does to my self-confidence in these matters, you have no idea...
The Ego
So I'm frustrated. Why???

The stupid results are still not out! A group of us are planning to go to the British Council today, because yesterday they told two friends of mine that they will give the results today. Lo and behold, when I called their number a little while back, the person on the other line said, "We have no information about the degree results. The accounts department will inform us when they are ready." Accounts department?!?!?! ARGH!

The LSE website SAYS and I quote: "1 September 2008 - Examination results 2008: Results for Degree and Diploma for Graduate students were despatched on 29th August."
What's today's date??? 7TH OF SEPTEMBER!!! What are these people doing, making paper mountains with our results!?!?!?

Aarrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh ... I can't take this any more!!! They had better come out today or I will spew vitriolic words from my mouth!!! AT THEM!

So there.

The Ego
Everytime the topic of my education, more specifically my education abroad, comes up... I've noticed my parents' voice pitch and tone increases and changes respectively. I can tell when people's tones change, and oh, how their tones change! I feel that more than a discussion, it turns out to be whose voice is more louder, as if the decibel level of the voice makes that person right.

Anyway, today, my father delivered a classic line... I hated what he said... But to backtrack to where it started from. I called a friend who's leaving for Malaysia to say goodbye, so my mum asked where she was going and what she was doing. My father came in at this point and also listened. He asked which college she was going to and I said I didn't know. I just knew the course she was doing and hadn't asked the name of the university. So he got all perturbed about my lack of asking questions; why hadn't I asked the name of the university, why didn't I ask what the fee structure is like? Then he went on to say how I'm not street-smart and how I should be more questioning. Both my parents then referred to my 'abhorrent' quality of not asking my friends what their parents do...I don't know, I just don't ask unless it comes up in conversation! Every time I mention a new person, my parents standard questions are 'where are they from?' and after a while 'what do their parents do?' and sometimes I don't have the answer to both coz I rarely ask!!! Maybe yeah, after knowing the person for a bit, parents, siblings come up... but I don't ask specifically. Anyway, then my Mum jumped in (like duh, how can she miss an opportunity when even my father is D-bashing?) and said that I'm like a horse who wears blinkers and can only see what's ahead without looking at my surroundings. THEN my father comes up with, "Why don't you check Singapore to see if they have the course you want; it's so much safer... London is okay for guys but..."

Ooooooh I didn't realize that all the kidnappers, rapists, murderers, speed-freaks and assorted criminals had signed a pact to ignore the male section of society. I don't see why the absence of a male organ on my body means that I should sit in my own backyard for the rest of my life. Me not being a man means what? If I had a brother who was not autistic, they'd send him happily to UK while lecturing me on safety issues??? I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate these stupid double standards in society. I'm not even saying that UK is safe as such... NO PLACE is safe nowadays, that's my point; some might be relatively safer than others, that's about it. No place is 100% safe, what with the world the way it is at the moment. And before anyone says anything, I DID check a few S'pore institutes a while back; I didn't find what I wanted. Oh, btw, tell me what colleges from S'pore come to the top of your head and then tell me the colleges that immediately come to mind if I say UK or USA. International recognition... I'm aiming for it.

Don't ya just love the support I'm getting?
The Ego
Seriously, it's high time they stopped. I'm so tired of trying to explaining things to them and trying to justify what I want to do.

What do I want to do?

Get my Masters. NOT in the U.A.E.

So what happened was, I met my uncle (my Mum's brother; not a pseudo-uncle) today and actually asked him to let me know about some job opportunities for some friends of mine. After making a quip about how it looked like I planned to open a recruitment agency, he asked what about myself. I told him about the job that I took up. Then he went on to asking me what I planned for my Masters. I told him about my plans to go to the UK. He then asked why I wasn't going to the USA. I told him my two reasons: one, I'd prefer going to the REALLY GOOD colleges and they cost about say $40000 per year (or even more) and I honestly can't afford that, plus it's for 2 years in the USA and I don't want to stay away from home (read: my brother) for that long. Yeah, USA is AMAZING for media and journalism, but I can't afford it...simple as that. UK Masters means just one year and that's perfect by me. So then he starts about how he heard that some Middle Eastern, or did he say Asian, guy got knifed in SOME part of London near a kabab shop and how it's getting dangerous there and blah blah blah and that I should decide wisely and think about what I want to do.

I've decided what I want to do since I was maybe 12!!! I want an international education in a college which is ranked well in the top universities list and I want a Masters one day and I even want a PhD eventually!
I'M SORRY but I can get knifed here also. I can get kidnapped here. I can die crossing a road in Oud Metha. I can have a car accident and die. In fact, if I'd gone a few hours late for my appendix operation, I would've died ANYWAY. If something has to happen to me, it will happen. While Dubai might seem relatively safer or whatever, anything can happen to me anywhere. If I go to USA, I can be subject to knifings as well, can't I? I can be racially discriminated against. Like I said, anything can happen anywhere. And I told this later to my mother also. But they all just need a fucking excuse to keep me here.

I've wanted to leave this place for my education for over 4 years now. And now I just want to go for one year. How hard is that for them to understand? I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, I don't even drink except for wine WITH my family present at special occasions (Ppl in the know about the March 5th 2006 story... c'mon, it was just one time!!!)... I know the difference between right and wrong. And as for the safety aspect...oh please, I can get mugged going to DIAC for all they know.

I'm just so annoyed with the lot of them... you will not believe it, there is NOT ONE adult over here in Dubai who wants me to go. Only some family members in India said they think I should go, learn how to live myself and all that.

Yes, along with education, I want to learn how to live alone. Here, I have Mum, Dad, my grandparents...they're all there for me so I don't lift a finger (well I do the clothes and the dishes; I'm not that bad also :P:P:P). But to be independent, truly so, I can't do that here. Plus I don't want to live all my life with my parents, then one day just transfer to my husband's house (terrible tradition btw, that us gals need to leave our house...hmph). And I don't want to become like her. Not like her...

So yeah, I'm bugged with them all. As you can tell ... I mean, I did type a lot!!!

I'm going. Even if they all gang up against me and I don't go next year... I will go. One day, I'm telling you, I'm leaving. And if they push me up the wrong wall, I'll just up and leave forever.
The Ego
I find this annoying. It constituted my view on my long drives on SZR... and now the Metro is RUINING IT (pardon the glass reflection... It was too hot to roll my window down). For me at least, this huge poster was a given of my SZR trip. And now it's gone. I wish they could put it somewhere else more visible!!!

* * * *

I was reading a magazine (Femina) a little while back and their cover story was on a nation-wide survey of Indian women on love and sex. Anyway, one statistic (remember this quote: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."?) mentioned that 63% of women would take back their cheating partner. Apart from not being shocked by this (as my friend Jo would say, women are emotional fools), what did catch my eye was a comment on emotional affairs. Something about how she could condone a physical affair but not an emotional one. Although I've read of many men claiming that they can sleep with someone else or do something physical without any emotional attachment (maybe this is true, I don't know), for me the emotional affair seems more painful. Of course I believe that in order to do something physical with someone you need to be emotionally involved (maybe this does not apply to everyone, but that's how it is for me). But if my partner, without indulging in a physical affair, has an emotional affair with someone else, it'll cut through me like a knife. To me, it'll feel like I'm not enough; he needs someone else to fulfil his emotional requirements. A platonic friendship differs from this, in my opinion, in the sense that you will not want to tell your partner how much you're investing in this other person. Hmmm ... it would hurt if my partner would want to share his thoughts, feelings and problems with someone else and not me. In fact, it's been said that an emotional affair is possibly more of a threat to a relationship than a physical one. Problem is, men (or women also) who have emotional affairs don't see anything wrong with this simply because, well, they're not having sex are they? There's a fine thin line between platonic friendship and having an emotional affair and people sometimes can't see it. If you feel like it's easier for you to speak to your friend and not your partner and you feel like your friend understands you more than your partner because of which you stop speaking to your partner about some things and speak about them to your friend instead... look into the relationship again... they're signs you might be having an emotional affair. And seriously, it's gonna hurt like hell in the end.

* * * *
I feel like I have a baby already. As a part of getting my bro to get used to sleeping alone, we've moved his sofa-bed (he used to sleep in a room with my mother coz he used to not be able to sleep without her presence) to my room. OMG it's only been two days but he keeps me up a lot at night. He's still not used to sleeping alone I guess so he takes a lot of time to sleep and usually laughs or jumps around. Last night, at 1:45am, he woke me up coz he came up and tried to jump into my bed! Hehe... I hope he gets used to sleeping alone soon... my beauty sleep is going to the dogs!!! :D

* * * *

I took the job I mentioned a few posts back. Soooo let's see how it goes. Will post when I start working about how it's going!

* * * *

I wrote a lot, so now I'll end with this picture... hmmm...

The Ego
I'm mildly confused about something... here's the thing: Am done with my Bachelors degree (finally!) and I was thinking about working for some time before moving on to getting my Masters. I've been working part-time (read: free!) for a college based magazine for 2 years now (it's not a magazine of one college; a group of people from different colleges coming together to make a magazine).

Now, they're planning to expand the magazine and are offering me a full-time, paid job (which entails actually heading the magazine...actually like a managing editor). I've all but accepted it (considering it is something I would like to do...being at the helm of a magazine)...only problem is... location, location, location. The HQ is in Ajman... and I would have to go there only a few times a week; rest of the time would entail field work of sorts. Convincing my family about me driving to Ajman almost every morning would be a bit hard, is all. But then again, last night I actually trailed home around 9:30pm, which is an achievement in itself (I was previously not allowed to drive on my own after sunset... which might explain my "coming home at 9:30pm on my own" excitement!).

I'm not confused about what I want... I would really like to take this up... but I've never really been to Ajman before (except for the college volleyball tournaments two years ago)... what do y'all think? I've already spoken to many ex-colleagues from when I interned at a newspaper...they think I should take it up for many reasons that they outlined to me.
So yeah, that's my current position on things. Looking forward to seeing what y'all think about this.
Labels: 7 ego boost(s) | | edit post
The Ego
Looks so calm and peaceful doesn't it? It's not a great picture or anything but this is how it looked at 38000 ft. Clear blue above and at the plane's level, with a carpet of soft, white snowy looking clouds beneath.

That's how many people are, I suppose. Calm and peaceful on the surface, but you've only got to dip your head and look inside...

Pointless post, but there it is...
The Ego
So I'd gone to Pune yesterday on a road trip... met one of my very very good friends at her college campus after 6 long years, and then headed to the city for some work that my father had. He's bought some property there, and needed to check out the progress on the construction etc.
THIS is the photo above the site office. I'm sorry if anyone is offended, but it made me laugh and I began thinking of the unfortunate acronym choice. Anyhow, I asked one of the employees there what PMS stood for and he said, "Project Management Services". I said alright and clicked this picture anyway.
On another, slightly more serious note: when we'd gone to check out one of the flats, the foreman on the site was instructing the worker-women (yeah quite a few workers on construction sites are women) to clean the floor (the flat was done as such, just finishing touches were left)... so they obliged, wiping the floor with wet cloths. And then everyone walked all over the wet tiles and muddied everything up. Then the foreman again asked the lady to clean up. This time we were a bit away from the area we were cleaning, so I thought, okay, this time it'll dry up before we stick our dirty shoes into wet tiles. WILL YOU BELIEVE, the foreman HIMSELF walked all over the tiles not a few seconds after they cleaned it??? I go so bloody bugged, I put on my snootiest-I've-come-from-foreign-lands voice and told him to tell them to stop cleaning the place coz it was just giving them extra work and we don't need to see the place with the tiles polished coz we don't give a damn how dirty it is right now, coz HEY it's still a construction site, however finished it may be. He very half-heartedly told them to stop. BUT THIS IS NOT THE END. I went to the terrace to see something my father and aunt were looking at and when I came out again, the ladies were at cleaning again!!! This time, I spoke to them directly mixing up broken Marathi and Hindi the best I could. I asked one of them why she was cleaning coz we would probably walk by that area again making it dirty and it's just double work for them. She said that the foreman would get angry with them if they stopped. This time I turned around and saw the foreman watching and listening to my conversation...I glared at him...coz I mean seriously, what the fuck??? What's the point of cleaning the damn place if we're going to dirty it right then and there? They could've jolly well cleaned it after we LEFT!!! I hate people like this... just hate them. Jerks.
The Ego
So I'm passing an Amul billboard ad over here in Bombay and those who've seen Amul ads before know that they're funny, or pass some sort of message. This one, however... I just had to take a photo of! And it wasn't easy... I had taxis and loads of cars honking at me coz the car I was in had to slow down on a busy traffic day and block all the cars behind... which might explain why it isn't perfectly crytal clear...

The Ego

Well... I bet you've geard of D.O.A. or Dead On Arrival... what's WOA? WET on Arrival... seriously, it's not stopped raining since I got here.

The first pic is from my airplane seat... note there's a "roll royce" sign on the engine thingy...
The flight was alright... my father slept through... I just watched "Horton Hears A Who".

Next, the view from my house here...

Next, a man with a colourful umbrella on the road...

Last, badam trees just next to my house!!!
The Ego
Okay ... this is very sudden... but...

I'm going to Bombay for two weeks!

My dad was already going but it wasn't until a few hours ago that I decided to go as well. Am leaving on Sunday (yes, that's day after tomorrow) and there will be a hiatus on this blog till 8th of August. Of course, if I can, I shall be blogging in the middle, when possible.

See y'all when I get back :)
The Ego
I'm back ... from the IMAX premiere of 'The Dark Knight' ... Thanks to Stained ... well actually his sister... for taking me along... and whatever... errr.. obstacles we faced (hehehe)... I still had fun!!!

I liked the movie a lot ... Not many English movies are 2 and a 1/2 hours long, and when they are, you expect them to hold the audience's interest (For example... remember how long the LOTR movies were? But did you get bored? No, you did not... and if anyone here says they got bored... BLASPHEMY!!!). This movie held my interest the entire time.
And something that amazed me throughout... if the identity of the actor playing The Joker had been kept secret from me, I don't think I could've guessed it even AFTER seeing the movie; Heath Ledger was brilliant. No cartoon-ish cariacture like Jack Nicholson (who played the Joker earlier), but a menace... Only when the movie began and the movie ended did I think about the actor. Throughout the movie, it was The Joker I was watching, not the actor Heath Ledger. And therein lies his brilliance for making me forget the actor behind the paint. And therein (lots of thereins :P:P:P) lies the tragedy... possibly one of his best performances ever...

And something else... this might be odd, but one of the scenes/situations in the movie (not revealing anything here) reminded me of the Prisoner's Dilemma... with actual payoffs in my mind. And lo and behold... Pareto Equilibrium was eventually found (well, kind of)!!! Hehehehe... And also, the same scene also made me realize people are not what they seem; the most hated or feared people can be the most sensible, while the so-called normal people are the ones who can be barbarians inside. Ah well ... aren't we all?

And that's it for tonight...

Au revoir mes amis... bonne nuit ...
The Ego
I went to Ski Dubai on Saturday with Stained and Jo!!!

That's ALL I wanted to say!!!


Oh, and I had a lot of fun that day!!!
After all the romping around in the snow... we had lunch at Chilis... and what stopover at Chilis is complete unless there is...


The Ego
I want to toot my horn, blow my trumpet and the like. Why? I feel like it! Hey, you're at 'Big Fat Ego', not 'Small Humble Do-Gooder'!!!

Anyway, if you look at my profile, you'll figure out I was born in '87. I was cleaning my room (and since I do it at intervals spanning years...hehe... I find things I never knew I had, or had completely forgotten about) and found the communication book from my playpen and the dates are in '89 so I was only 2 years old then. Okay, am going to start tooting a few lines from here on. The teacher has written comments whenever there were tests in class... tests ranging from tests on days of the week, on numbers, on months of the year, animals, body parts, seasons etcetera etcetera...

The comments... (feel free to applaud; remember I was 2!!!):
"10/10! Excellent! Keep it up! D's performance is exceedingly good considering she has joined late. She is well behaved and co-operative. She is the emblem of a happy child"

"10/10! Very good! D knows her numbers very well! Only she must learn to speak loudly and clearly." (I was telling my friend Fud this and she started laughing, saying that I obviously took her advice to heart since now I speak quite loudly!!! Hehehehe...)

"10/10! D is extremely well up in her work and I consider her as one of the best pupils in class. Her grasping is excellent. Please encourage her to keep up her good level of performance."

And THEN ... they got so tired of praising me ALL THE TIME...
"10/10! Excellent! As usual, D recognized all the animals correctly and spoke with absolute confidence. Please keep up the good work!"

I can't write more... it's too tiring :P:P:P

*toot* *toot*

The Ego
Was going through my posts and saw that I'd written this out on 4th March 2008, and left it as a draft. Thought I'd finally let it see itself get published. No idea why I left it as a draft though, and not posted it on the blog. Weird...I didn't even remember I'd written this on the blog!!!

But ... you know it's for you... don't you? :)

I miss you so much it hurts.

I've been told to be practical...but I want to listen to my heart...which is so obviously not practical at all!!!!!!!!!
I miss you so much I want to scrunch you and steal you away and just be.

I'll end this reminiscing post with an image I found somewhere online:

The Ego
It was Stained's birthday last week, and today we went out with his friends for bowling and dinner (with sampling of saffron tea in a Mamzar cafeteria and the Souq-Al-Bahar behind Burj Dubai between those two events). After much deliberation and confusion, we finally decided on going to Nandos. When we reached there, I went to use the 'roost room' (what the washrooms there are called)... the doors are labeled 'chick' and 'rooster', which I always thought was pretty cool and keeping in line with the restaurant theme. Anyways, I went in and on one wall, there was a framed poster headed: "Size does matter!" and under that the lengths of different chillies found in different parts of the world. Heading back to my table, I asked the guys if the same was in the 'rooster' room. Stained reported back; the same poster in the rooster room said: "Size doesn't matter!"

I wonder if I was mistaken or he was... we never went back inside to check!!! Although if we were both right...well then, Nandos is pretty creative with their rest rooms...oh sorry, roost rooms, don't you think?
The Ego
Hahaha... I was just thinking about how I had my operation around this time 2 years back and then it struck me ... I'd made a blog post about it last year commemorating one year of my appendicitis operation!!!

Here and here are the two blog posts I've made about it till date... hehe...

One thing always strikes me though... I found out much later, but it was good that I didn't know when entering the operation theatre, that the doctors told my parents that it was a good thing I came in when I did coz if I was any later, it might've been fatal. Ah well. Kinda scary considering I put off going to the doctor for over 2 days before succumbing to the pain and agreeing to get myself checked up. Never again.
My advice to y'all from personal experience: if you ever think something is wrong, if there's too much pain...anything that makes it difficult for you to function normally, go get it checked. It might make the difference between life and death.
The Ego
My friends (and I mean the real ones, not the acquaintances who pass off for friends just coz they hang out in the same group and all that) would know that I am a chicken-aholic. It's not that I hate veg food...I just prefer chicken over it. Anyway, yesterday was the SALAAM Youth Awards event at KV (That's Knowledge Village to you tourists) and since I write for SALAAM, I got there early to help out. I got Stained to take the pictures for the event, so he was also with me there.

Now he is a cat person (pity...I'm a dog person) and has 2 cats at home. For those who frequent KV a lot, they'd know that there are stray cats over there. He found one and it looked quite hungry. I hadn't had any lunch yet so we headed over to the food court to get something for me, while he was figuring out what he could feed the cat.

I decided to take Subway, when ... he decided that the chicken from Subway was most suitable for said cat. Yes my dear readers, you can imagine what happened next. I ordered the Chicken Teriyaki 6 inch sub... and the cat got all my chicken!!! Hehe... we picked out all the chicken strips from my sub and gave it to the cat. I got all the veggies, the Southwest and Thousand Island sauce.

I guess watching the cat hungrily eating the chicken made up for not getting the chicken myself. Almost. :P

EDIT: Check comments for the link to the photo of the cat eating my chicken!!!
The Ego
I was at a fast food outlet today and after I gave my order, I stood aside to let other customers place their order. As I normally do when I have nothing better to amuse myself with, I generally looked around the area at the other customers eating.

Waitaminute... what's this?

More than half the men over there had their eyes trained above me. I glanced above my head and saw a TV. Showing a music video. Of a girl with an amazing figure in clothes that looked like they had been stitched onto her and a plunging neckline. So I looked back at the customer area... Nopes, not one of them had so much as twitched or moved a muscle.

All eyes were above me.

And then ... OMG, they looked away! I glanced up. New music video. Nothing interesting this time apparently, so they all went back to eating.

Labels: 4 ego boost(s) | | edit post
The Ego
Well ... no one called me Aunty. Well, not exactly.
I mean, yeah I'm 21 and I just got my 10 year driver's license (whoopee!), but I am not really I???
This guy calls me to ask about the college I've studied in coz he's considering joining. While talking, he said, "Ma'am can you tell me about -- insert college name here --?"
I started answering but then stopped halfway through and asked, "How old are you?"
"19", he said.
To which I replied, "Well I'm 21, so can you not call me ma'am?"
He said alright.
But then unconsciously while talking later, he called me ma'am again.
Stupid boy.

I'm going to be one of those "Aunty mat kaho na" types... I suspect even when I'm past 30 and 40... haha...
The Ego
I first became acquainted with the Rorschach inkblot test when I studied Psychology in my 11th and 12th grade of school. The idea of using inkblots to figure out what a person is thinking or feeling was fascinating to me. In fact, one of my favourite quotes is "Reality is only just a Rorschach inkblot you know" by Alan Watts.
A bit of trivia, Rorschachs were referred to in Batman Forever when Bruce Wayne sees an inkblot in Nicole Kidman's office and asks why she has a bat inkblot... she concluded he had bats on his brain. Anyhooooo...

It was this picture that led me the thought that photographs/pictures are in themselves kind of Rorschach-y. Different people saw the picture and each focused on different aspects... I'll tell you what they said and what I believe was on their mind.
My dad saw the picture and asked, "Whose house is that?" [property market on his brain]
My mum saw the picture and asked, "Whose house is that?" [home and hearth on her brain]
Kazz saw the picture and asked, "Whose car is that?" [Cars on his brain]
I saw the picture and said, "Ooooh red flowers!" [my obsession with red coming to the mind]
Stained, who clicked the picture, probably thought, "Ooooohhh... photo opportunity!" [Clearly, cameras on his brain]

See what I mean?
The Ego
"It isn't all that great as it's hyped to don't just don't know. Sometimes I close my eyes, lie unmoving and just let it happen because it's expected of me"

She was telling me, in a vulnerable moment, what sex with her husband was like. You could say I was shocked. I mean, I knew that this sort of thing happens with many women all over the world...but...I don't know. It just threw me off balance.
You go through with something just because it's expected of you? How sub-continental an attitude that is. But how often it happens... A friend of mine said that once you marry someone and live in close contact with them, physical things naturally happen. I agree...and this is one way in which it does. Either you really care for that person and start having intimate relations, or you eventually give in to doing it because it's expected of you. Do I blame the man? Yes, but the woman isn't blameless by the way. She needed to tell him what she needed (time and space comes to mind) and he needed to realize that she was surrendering, not participating, which eventually gave the entire experience a bad vibe in her mind and made it something she tried to avoid.

It scared me in a way. What will happen to me if and when I get married? Will I also eventually give in because I have to, or will I do it because I want to? Will I be one of those women who lie down and close my eyes and just wish it would end?

This confession really scared me... that's all I can say.
The Ego
Okay this is mildly weird... the last time I wrote something was February 25th 2008 (and believe me, I had a damn good reason to write then)... and this time, am not sure where this is coming from.
Anyway... here goes nothing:

Standing at the summit
Looking over all I've gained
Contemplating what will be lost
As I fall over the precipice

Fall I will
Sooner or later
There's no escape

A sense of elation
At having reached so high
A sense of fear
Over the height of the fall

I take my first step
Inching closer to the edge
Look over and shudder
I don't want to jump
I don't want to fall
I want to stay

Listen! A noise!
I turn around in fear
But it's too late
Fate pushes me over
With a violent laugh
And keeps going a
She watches me fall

I was not enough
And now I'm gone.
The Ego
I was bored... so I picked up Prometheus's latest tag :)
T'was fun to do!!!

"You are about to have your own band's CD cover. Follow these directions to the letter. My tagee list is at the bottom of this post. It's fun and requires no thought at all. Go to......

The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.

Well. I'm from the band "Grainville-sur-Ry, and my album is called "Where the car is" ... :D

Apparently the name of my band is the name of some place in France (and I like things French, so yay), and the album name has something to do with a car (and I adore my car, so yay again)... and the picture is nice... so yay for me!!!
Hahaha... it looks like I'm from a country band ... hahaha ...
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