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The Ego
Decisions. People make them at every point of their life.
"Shall I wear the skirt or the pant?"
"Should I buy the red paint or the blue?"
"Shall I watch this movie or that?"

Every point of our life...we're plagued with decisions... silly mundane things... or important life-changing ones. Sometimes I wonder if the decisions I've made till now in my life are right or wrong.
Was my decision to choose my current degree a right one? Only time will tell ...
Were my decisions to make the friends I have, the right ones? I can only hope so...
The decision I made 2-3 years ago to go for a party without informing my parents that boys would be present (heck yeah, those times I didn't know any boys therefore to go for a late night party with them was a big no-no) was bittersweet...I learnt a lot after it (with regard to who my real friends were etc), but it was wrong bcoz when my parents found out, there was hell to pay. (Note to be made: I do not regret wot I did, but I regret the anguish I caused my parents, especially my mother)
The decision I made to run for the student council in school was right because I met the most amazing people that way and did so many amazing things that I would've never been able to otherwise...

So it always seems to be that, when, in the future, things go right we pat ourselves on the back for apparently doing the right thing. But if things turn south, then...we tell ourselves we should've seen it happening in the first place. That we should've foreseen the problems and obstacles...

Then sometimes you take a decision that feels right to you...but then everyone around you shoots it down...treating you like you went mad... like you'd done something wrong... wot happens then??? Do you regret the decision that makes ppl mildly hostile? Or do you trudge slowly through the barrage of questioning, hoping that one day it'll all just stop? Questions thrown at you all the time...why'd you do this, why'd you do that, how could you do such a thing...

When I make a decision, I would like people to respect it (unless of course I made a decision to rob a bank or something equally evil)...I don't like to feel like I have to apologize to people for a decision that would majorly affect me and not them. However, humans truly cannot live in isolation... every decision we make has manifold ramifications on everything and everyone around us.

My only wish is that I don't regret any decision that I make...that would be a pity.

Que sera sera... hmmmm...
The Ego
Ok, Mr-white-Mitsubishi-Lancer-of-H59792-fame... Do you know what those dotted lines in the middle of the asphalt roads are??? Let's think...hmmm... they divide the bloody road into lanes so that if there are TWO lanes on a road, then TWO cars can drive side-by-side in blissful harmony. So maybe, NEXT TIME, you'll actually use your side-mirrors et al plus some judgement to actually stay in one lane rather than driving in the middle of the road so that no car can pass by you. See, those nice white dotted lines are not to drive over...they demarcate the road, so that you can drive on one of those lanes, okay??? Remember what you learnt in driving school?? All coming back to you now?? Oh good.
And ONE MORE THING... while it is a refreshing change to see some ppl go slow on roundabouts instead of racing across them, squealing tires, doing the whole "drifting" thing... you are NOT expected to do a complete stop on a roundabout while you contemplate the direction your car (or life) should take. (Okay, maybe "complete stop" is an exaggeration; MORE LIKE 1km/h!!)

*sigh* Maybe I shouldn't complain; I've seen worse on the Al Quoz roundabout on the way to work during my vacations... All those near misses on that huge roundabout...trucks cutting my lil' Getz, practically banging into me with me performing death-defying swerves to save my life...KV is relatively safer no?

But seriously... I wanna kick these crazy drivers (either they drive like maniacs or they drive like they're driving a damn bullock cart) with my cowgirl boots... tassels, suede and all :p

Mais... this reminds me of this lovely quote: "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" Si vrai, no??
The Ego
Hmmm... Happy Diwali and Eid Mubarak to all ... *hugs* all around...

Ummmmmmmm... coming back to why this post is here...

Be careful of what you wish for
It might actually come true
Then it is most certain that
You will not know what to do.

Argh.
The Ego
So apparently, we have love stories culminating in marriage in my family...

The first story has the main protagonists in the form of my grandmum (my Mum's mum, whom henceforth I shall call 'Gummy') and my grandfather (whom I shall now call Gappa). [The whole 'Gummy' and 'Gappa' thing started when I was a kid and said these words instead of Grandmummy and Grandpapa; although why nobody asked me to say Nana and Nani is beyond me, coz I say Dada and Dadi, but oh well...]

Anyways, back to the story. Gappa used to freelance for a newspaper back in India (so now I know where I get my journalist blood from!) and Gummy used to work as a receptionist at that newspaper. After he heard her voice on the phone, he apparently was besotted by her, then went and met her, then started following her home on the train, then started escorting her home on the train and THEN finally he said he wanted to marry her and her family said yes and voila... they got married. Wow.

Next story...my parents. Oh it was an arranged marriage. My dad's family saw Mum at some engagement and so pursued the offer. And when Papa saw Mum's photo, he also was apparently besotted by her and went around showcasing her photo to all and sundry saying no matter what happened he would marry her. (Ya, my Mum was babe in her hey-day...her photos give me major inferiority complex...amazing figure, lovely clothes, flawless face, and brains to add to that...and then there's me...*sigh* Why couldn't I get her genes? Although I think I got a good percentage of her brains, thank my stars) My Dada (my dad's dad) was a great believer in matching horoscopes, but Papa went to Dada and said that even if they didn't match, my Mum was the woman whom he wanted as his wife. And then they got married (and the horoscopes were a perfect match, so no one had to fight or anything). Hmmm.

AND THEN THERE'S ME. After hearing my grandparents romantic story today, I... well, here's wot happened...
Me: Mum, so can some boy follow me home on the train too?
Mum: There are no trains in Dubai. And if anyone follows you, tell me and I'll call the police.
(how unromantic!!!)
Me: But Gummy was followed around by Gappa...it's regressive if you don't let me have the same right too! Besides, forget trains, he can follow me on public transport or my car and drop me home.
Mum: Er...your friends already drop you home.
Me: Yes, but I don't want to marry them!
Mum: Anyway, I've talked about this with your dad before, and he said that he doesn't want you to marry the guy of your choice. He wants to choose him for you.
(SAY WOT?? Why should he decide about MY life, and since WHEN have my parents been discussing my marriage?!?!?!?)
Me: PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Can I get married to whomever I choose, subject to your approval?
Papa: No.
Me: *shocked*
That's it! THAT'S ALL HE SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mum: Anyway, you're only 19...
Me: SO WHAT?!?!? I need to know I have the right! THE RIGHT!!!

Yes well, I should like to see them try getting me married off to a guy whom I don't want to marry! EXTREMELY low success rate, I do assure you.

Oh well, I highly doubt anyone will follow me or drop me home in the hopes of capturing my heart...neither will anyone showcase my photo to the world and their mother with dreams of taking me away on his horse (or swanky car as it may be)... so I suppose the argument is not valid anyway.

But still ... Why meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee???
The Ego
Contrary to wot I said before, I was slated to drive the Merc again to college today due to a certain mix-up. Ah well... going by my previous experience with that car, this time around things were smoother.
And of course, today was the same class that I had where I walked out last week, but today everything was relatively peaceful. In fact, in my free time (i.e. the time when I was not listening to the Prof), I constructed a list. And here goes:

List of hot guys on television
In random order:
1. Milo Ventimiglia (Jess Mariano on Gilmore Girls/Peter Petrelli on Heroes)
2. Wentworth Miller (Michael Scofield on Prison Break)
3. Josh Holloway (Sawyer on Lost)
4. Michael Weatherly (Logan Cale on Dark Angel/Tony DiNozzo on NCIS)
5. Jensen Ackles (Alec on Dark Angel)
6. David Boreanaz (Angel/Angelus on Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
7. James Marsters (Spike on Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
8. Tom Welling (Clark Kent on Smallville)
9. Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor on Smallville)
10. Noah Wyle (Dr. John Carter on E.R.)
11. Goran Visnjic (Dr. Luka Kovac in E.R.)
12. George Clooney (Dr. Doug Ross on E.R.)
13. James Spader (Alan Shore on Boston Legal)
14. Drew Fuller (Chris Halliwell on Charmed)

Pathetic to make such lists? Probably. But...circumstances demanded it, namely the BORING class that I had today!!! I had to do anything possible to survive this class unscathed ... and since I emerged from that class with my brains not blown out from boredom, I am satisfied.
Labels: 2 ego boost(s) | | edit post
The Ego
I went to the airport a few hours back to pick somebody up... while sauntering into the arrival area, it occurred to me: Why on earth did I wear a t-shirt that said "Calm, cool, collected, and ready to explode" to the aiport?!?!?! (Courtesy the brand "Zync", which, by the way, I absolutely adore!) The word play just struck me at that point of time... First I was like, AAAAHHHH...wot did I wear?!?!?! And then of course, I found it hilarious. Now I've sort of made a vow: the next time I'm travelling by plane, I WILL wear that t-shirt... will make the trip more interesting methinks...
Btw... note the time... past 1:30am... mainly because I was out all day long and couldn't finish my assignments, so I'm finishing it off now... yikes... looks like I'll be falling off to sleep in classes tomorrow...!!!
The Ego
My weekends are very routine... it honestly leaves nothing to the imagination bcoz I know exactly wot I'd be doing Thursday evenings, Fridays and on Saturdays... Almost like clockwork...so much so that it becomes infuriating... Something to know about me: while I do require a certain plan of wot's going on... I prefer spontaneity!
Other than that... the world is moving on... we have a new UN Secy. General (I feel bad for all the Thuroor enthusiasts) ... a boy in rural India married a hill to remove a curse from his mother (seriously, read front page of KT today and you'll see...crazy stuff)... cowards send anonymous emails... the usual stuff...

My last post seems to have generated enough interest for someone to address an email to the common email id of all the students of my lecture (refer to previous post) and call me a big fat liar and that apparently I've exaggerated the events and that I've degraded myself... the usual stuff that cowards write under the cloak of namelessness which they never would have the guts to say to my face ... That email subsequently led the previous post to also get loads of comments from people... Free publicity eh... as they say, even bad news is good news... hmmm...
I'm sure whoever that person is reads my blog ... well... all I can say is... (and this is addressed to that Cowardly Cow who sent the email in the first place) ... I wish you had the balls to say wot you had to, to my face and not sneak around in this way... I may be a girl, but I sure have more balls than you do. [my friend Off always wonders why I say that, then I assure him that my balls are purely imaginary and metaphorical, not to worry; and thanks to HW for even saying that I have more balls than anyone else he knows, bless him] I don't lie, neither do I sneak around... I say wot I have to in front of everyone. I am not skilled in the art of cowardice like you...

And with that... adieu... but only for now... this ego is too inflated to shut up forever!!! I'll be back!
The Ego
I wonder if Gandhi ever wrote letters to his friends after staging non cooperation movements... Why the sudden interest in Gandhi's non cooperation??? Well, I staged a one-woman walkout today... Interest piqued? Good, read on...

So today, in college, I had three hours worth of classes back-to-back alright? Now... in the last one hour, PJ (our professor), hit upon a grand idea of dividing the 40-odd students into groups of around 7-8 each and making each group carry out presentations and do projects together etc... And he let us make our own groups whereby a "group leader" would come up to the whiteboard and make his/her team listing on it for PJ's reference etc etc. So me and my friends obviously plunged into one group together and added other people whom we could tolerate... Anyways, this guy called R. (for the uninitiated, he was the guy who asked me out in first year and I declined and since then he's acted very creepily around me) gets up and says he wants to make his own group and nonchalantly goes to the board, RUBS MY NAME from the other list and STICKS it in his!!! All my friends, knowing our "history" started laughing soooooooo much... I just got angry and asked R. to please change my name back to the list where I was... he didn't do it... Then I asked him to change the name coz I'd rather make presentations etc with ppl with whom I was more comfortable with... he didn't change it... I said I'd refuse to do any work if I was in his group... he still didn't change it... O., my friend, got up and tried to put my name back onto the list where all my friends were; R. pushed him away... I tried protesting one more time and when nothing happened, something inside of me snapped and I picked up my bag and walked out of class. I had a faint idea that when I put my hand on the door handle, the previously raucous class hushed in shock ... I walked out and with no idea where to go, I went to my car in the parking lot and just sat there until the class ended and ppl came looking for me...

Then I found out wot happened in my absence...
After I walked out, people were indeed in shock for like 10 seconds... then P. (best friend#1) walked out to try and find me... then S. (this really FUNNYYYYY guy) turned to R. and said, "Kya yaar...all the girls are walking out bcoz of you!" and everyone burst into laughter... P. called me then to make sure I was okay... assured of that she went back to class...A. (best friend #2) asked where I was, P. told him I was ok and wasn't driving around like a maniac...and the word was spread among my friends that I am safe and sound in my car... O. then went to the board and this time successfully changed my name to back where it originally was, without any protest from R., whom I imagine was sufficently shocked by my walk out to say anything then. Then when class ended, PJ apparently told R. he shouldn't have changed my name if I didn't want it there and he shouldn't have upset me ... haha... PJ likes me (I'm a VERY good student) so it was okay for me to walk out in his class... he probably sympathizes with me more than anyone else... hehe... Then outside class, A. (friend) asked R. why he did that... and R. was flustered and mumbled some stuff and went off... Then A. (best friend #2) and A. (friend) came in search of me...found me, asked me if I was mad... and then proceeded herewith to tell me wot happened after I left...

THEN... R. called!!! And I was like....AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH... He apologized blah blah and said he didn't realize I was serious about not wanting to be in his group... (yeah right... I'd leave all my friends, who are anyway less in number after half of them shifting to the evening batch, and go to his batch and make presentations and projects with him for the next 7 months?!?!?) ... and said some more REALLY corny stuff... I tried to keep the call as short as possible, and that was that...

Someone told me I shouldn't have walked out; I should've hit him instead... and some thought I was immature... some thought I was justified... but a common thread seems to be: "OH MY GOD... D, of all people, WALKED OUT OF CLASS?!?!?!?"

Ah well ... wot's done is done... at least I achieved the purpose ... my group was changed back to where I wanted it...
Staging a walk out made me feel guilty...yet the end result has left me satisfied :D
The Ego
Okay... for the uninitiated... there's this tradition in Hinduism called karva chauth ... and not all Hindu communities perform it, but quite a few do... The concept is that the wife fasts the entire day and breaks her fast by looking at the moon and then at her husband, then he feeds her some food. The point apparently being that she does this to pray to the Gods to ensure her husband's long life.
So ... (Btw, thankfully my family doesn't do this stuff, so I'm spared the agony of having to tell my Mum to please not undertake this fast because it offends my logical and feministic sensibilities) ... ANYWAY... today I find out that there are some lovesick loonies in my college actually fasting for their boyfriends. I was so struck in disbelief at their moronic behaviour. I mean, they are most probably gonna break up with those pipsqueak boyfriends some time soon, and right now, here they are, starving the whole day for those men... And how will starving yourself ensure long life for your men, I will never understand...
WHEN will the men ever fast for women??? Why is it always the women fasting for the guys??? Bloody sexists... Discrimination, I say... Pfuit ...
C'est abominable!!!
The Ego
Anyone interested can read this article... At Airports too, Autism is a threat

It's about how people can be so insensitive to people with special needs... Bloody cows... Makes me mad when I read about such things...
The Ego
I don't like being judged. I used to assume that because I extended this courtesy to others, I'd get that in return... Mais je suis déçu ...

I know for a fact that I have never judged or wanted to change anyone to suit me perfectly... Everyone is different...everyone thinks differently and believes in assorted things. My friends are so varied from my nature yet in some things so alike... While I cherish the similarities, I hold our differences even higher because those are wot makes them unique. I mean, can you imagine how BORING life would be if everyone agreed on everything?!?!?!?
I won't deny I've tried my hardest to change their bad habits like puffing away on the cancer stick (Smoking kills!), drinking themselves to death (I think hard drinks are alright, except when it leads to alcoholism) or going about losing their virginity (What's the hurry??...Stay celibate for a while!)... but have I ever tried to change their core personality?? No ... why should I??? (and if I ever have, I am truly sorry; it was not my intention) I think that I was attracted to their personality in the first place, that's why I'm good friends with them...
And whatever disagreements I have about the way they live their life...most of them have to do with any negative attitudes they hold or negative ways in which they behave... I haven't harmed anyone... my beliefs are personal to me and I truly honour them strongly... Is that so hard to understand? You believe in some values because of some particular reasons and so do I mine.

I don't ask you or expect you to change your personal beliefs because I don't agree with them ... why do you think I'd change mine because you think it's right??? "Being right" is a relative term when it comes to individual thoughts and feelings. I wish people would just realize that ...

And to think I wouldn't have found out wot some people think/feel about my personal choices if it wasn't for an innocent question I asked...

Edit: Oh well ... harmless rant... P told me that I shouldn't get mad at wot others say... but I did... so that's that.
The Ego

Last night... we (me and my family) saw this dark fat thingy moving around in our garden. After investigation, we saw a bird... looked like a partridge... Also it seemed that it couldn't fly coz when me or my Mum went closer to investigate, it didn't fly away. Instead it looked up at us extremely inquisitively... and tried to follow us inside the house! T'was still there this morning... it wasn't in the garden anymore, but in the garage... I took a few pics of it... it looked sooooooo cute... I mentally named it "Fluffy" but a few hours back, it wasn't there anymore. :(
I hope it's alright!!!

Hmmmmmmmm... on another note, without saying too much... I want to vehemently protest against girls getting married in their teens. It's unfair to the girls, stupid, not to mention highly irresponsible of the parents especially if the age gap between the girl and guy is huge. And I can't even express how CRAZY the girls are to even say yes, when they don't want to! I don't know whom to thank, but I am SO GLAD that my parents aren't even thinking about my marriage, unlike some other parents around. Hmph. On this topic... my Mum is the BEST! She assured me that she doesn't want me to get married any time soon, so I can take my own sweet time about it (and hinted that if I was so against marriage, I could stay single forever)... bless her...

Gotta go back to Accounts... ahhhh... my trial balance is NOT balanced!!! :(
The Ego
So today... I decided to be a bit more adventurous... I told my Mum to use my car today (My darling Hyundai Getz) while I'd take the one she usually drives (the scary long Mercedes Benz). I regretted my decision a few seconds after pulling out of our driveway, by which time it was already too late to do anything coz my Mum had already left and there seemed to be no way in which my Dad would even consider letting me take his car... Soooo, I had to drive along with the Benz to college.
The first problem I came across was when I quickly realized I couldn't see anything except the sky through the left side mirror coz it seemed like it was configured to my dad's 6"1' height. And I didn't know how to adjust them!!! Ack! After playing around with the knob (while driving I might add), it finally moved but then I could ONLY see the road and nothing above it. And so it came to be that while navigating a roundabout, I managed to set it according to my eye-level.
Then... the brakes. I hit them lightly and nothing happened!!! I got sooooooooo scared... I was like, SHIT... am I supposed to hit a tree to stop or something... then I figured I hafta hit them harder than I usually do in my Getz... and then it worked after pushing the brake pedal harder and more deep... Gave me quite a fright though at first...
But to give credit where credit is due... it went beautifully from 40 - 120 VERY smoothly and very fast ... wot about 0-40 you ask??? Well, that's a wee bit slow!!! Then after 40 it picks up magnificently... And of course, it went marvellously over the innumerable speed humps that Emaar decided to plonk in the middle of Meadows, Springs and all that... Coz with my little Getz, I need to slow down to almost 0km/h to go over the speed breakers without it being too bumpy. With the Benz... even at 30km/h...it was quite smooth...
But... I am NEVER driving that car again... hehehe... too much tension... I think I prefer smaller cars... easier to zip around!!!

On another note... have been listening to How to Save A Life by The Fray for ages today... excellent song... do listen to it sometime!
DISCLAIMER: All opinions expressed on this blog are the bloggers private thoughts, not meant to cause harm. Take everything with a pinch of salt.